Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were on the road. She saw that I got an innocent text from a friend, Melissa. In a fit of jealous rage, she put the gear of my car to “P” causing the car behind me to rear end me. My bumper fell off. She told me, “Tell that bitch Melissa to take care of that.” FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of almost four years was breaking up with me when she captioned an Instagram post saying, "Who else besides me is going into 2018 single?" I had already bought an engagement ring. FML
Today, I found out my fiancée has been sleeping with the salesman I bought her engagement ring from. He knew. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she suspected me of cheating. She thought I was cheating because she caught me sneaking out in the middle of the night. I was sneaking out to plan my proposal to her. FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, according to my girlfriend's instant messenger, which she left open on my laptop, I am her rough shag on the side while she searches for a guy who is husband material that her parents will approve of. I guess the engagement ring in my bag is going back to the shop. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Ruffclue 9
Hey man you gotta learn how to lie.
Keevarou 17
You could have told her that it was because of a present to her... Then no loose ends to misunderstand on :) Fyl though, she sounds kind of insecure.. If she really love you, maybe she will want you back
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (193)
Foolys 10
Why don't you just explain to her what you were doing when you propose to her with the ring!
AloysiusWeasley 15
Good. Next time, try telling the truth, that defensive crap just makes women *know* you're cheating.
bogart20 13
I guess she's not the one after all
LadyJoker21 0
Awh sad
monkiki62 5
Um no offense op but if u act like ur not gonna tell her who it is then it does look like ur cheating. You should have said she was selling something u wanted to get then when if girl asks u what it is just wink and say it's a surprise.
vettle 6
Well, I can see how that would make someone suspicious! Propose anyway it'll be a funny story
snegec 7
Sometimes, hiding things from your partner or would-be-happily-ever-after just isn't worth the trouble. Besides, did you really want to marry such an obsessive-compulsive bitch that you now know you had in your house? I know I wouldn't.
littlelotte98 3
you should've told her
shaynafaye 3
holy crap are you crazy? if you love her that much freaking tell her the truth.
PurrfectPeach 2
Dodged a bullet there.