Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I were on the road. She saw that I got an innocent text from a friend, Melissa. In a fit of jealous rage, she put the gear of my car to “P” causing the car behind me to rear end me. My bumper fell off. She told me, “Tell that bitch Melissa to take care of that.” FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of almost four years was breaking up with me when she captioned an Instagram post saying, "Who else besides me is going into 2018 single?" I had already bought an engagement ring. FML
Today, I found out my fiancée has been sleeping with the salesman I bought her engagement ring from. He knew. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she suspected me of cheating. She thought I was cheating because she caught me sneaking out in the middle of the night. I was sneaking out to plan my proposal to her. FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, according to my girlfriend's instant messenger, which she left open on my laptop, I am her rough shag on the side while she searches for a guy who is husband material that her parents will approve of. I guess the engagement ring in my bag is going back to the shop. FML
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Top comments
Ruffclue 9
Hey man you gotta learn how to lie.
Keevarou 17
You could have told her that it was because of a present to her... Then no loose ends to misunderstand on :) Fyl though, she sounds kind of insecure.. If she really love you, maybe she will want you back
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Comments (193)
Nursewilly 0
More importantly, why was she going through his phone in the first place?
silencebabyy 23
You deserve it cause you shouldve said something. Obviously shes going to assume the worst if you dont tell her who the person is :s you shouldve said it was an old friend or somethinggg.
congele 6
When you get the ring, you should go to her and tell her about it and show it to her. She'll feel like a a-hole XD
stefman13 1
Why would you want to marry a psycho bitch like that anways?
blehhhhhhhhhhh 0
why did you refuse to tell her??? you didn't have to tell the part about the engagement ring... I think this is all your fault and I think if you tell her how she is just a girl from eBay or whatever she will understand and if she doesn't.. she's stubborn and a bitch
keeganm 1
Haha, monogamy is so stupid.
ITS_SNORLAX 4
I'm pretty sure ur chocolate egg had crack in it that's y ur parents told u that
Lilypoops 0
Like she doesn't have male contacts on her phone! Anyway I think you should get the engagement ring, Phone up and explain :)
laurenmacias 0
What a b**ch
strokedturbogsxr 3
Who cares. You're better off without a psycho controlling girl that gets jealous easily. Find someone to be swingers with