Today, my girlfriend and I were on the road. She saw that I got an innocent text from a friend, Melissa. In a fit of jealous rage, she put the gear of my car to “P” causing the car behind me to rear end me. My bumper fell off. She told me, “Tell that bitch Melissa to take care of that.” FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving to work, following my girlfriend's car. I looked down to change the radio station and felt a large bump. I rear-ended my girlfriend. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I went for a drive to clear my head of relationship issues. That night, I got pulled over. Lost the car and my license. I texted my girlfriend, saying I was sorry; she left. Lost her too. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, my girlfriend has spent months convincing me to let her have a go driving my Mercedes, and like a fool I gave in and let her drive it once round the street. She didn’t make it 12 inches before she reversed it into the gate post, denting the body, and destroying the paintwork. FML
Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML
Today, while walking to my car after work, I witnessed some moron who was texting while riding her bike running right into my parked car, resulting in a broken side mirror, a damaged windshield, two dents, and for her, a broken phone and nose. She's threatening to sue me for damages. FML
Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML
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Top comments
Battousai124 9
File charges for reckless endangerment, this is not normal.
Jaymail 19
I’m thinking she’s your EX Girlfriend now!
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Comments (9)
Jaymail 19
I’m thinking she’s your EX Girlfriend now!
JasonThorn 23
If she's not, she damn well SHOULD BE. More red flags than a Communist China parade.
Battousai124 9
File charges for reckless endangerment, this is not normal.
Dr_Alex 10
I see that most people take OP's side. But... how often have your SO's received a text from the opposite gender and it was "nothing to worry about"? Care to search this site for similar stories? I would say that in many of cases, a text--however innocent it appears--is sent with a very non-innocent indent (btw - notice that he's not saying there's nothing going on between him and Melissa, just simply says the text was innocent, which is not the same thing). Plus, I don't like to assume that his GF is an idiot (she's a bit of a nutcase, but that's different); she's worried and perhaps, it's justified. Also, the car that rear-ended him will be responsible for the accident, it wasn't keeping the "distance". It's unfair as the GF clearly provoked the accident, but that's the rule.
Iamthebanzai22 21
Even if there was something going on between OP and Melissa, his girlfriend should at least have availed herself of the facts before deciding what action to take.
poopface82 25
What are you, my ex-wife? “How do I know you’re not?” is not proof of wrongdoing. Knee-jerk suspicion is not proof. Batshit insanity is not proof. The fact that other people do bad shit is not proof.
lgrave 8
"how often have your SO's received a text from the opposite gender and it was "nothing to worry about"?" Several times every single day. Friends. Coworkers.
FluffythePink 23
I really hope you have dumped that homicidal lunatic.
lalalaila777 24
you deserve it if you stay with her, the signs are there
Anderling 33
Run fast, run far. This can only get worse.
RichardPencil 32
The poor bastard behind you is at fault. They always need to keep a safe distance because they never know when a car in front of them has to make a sudden stop. I'm sure Melissa knows this.
poopface82 25
Legally speaking, this is almost always true. In this case, proving otherwise would be a tall order.
Sam92 2
dump her