Today, my girlfriend saw the name "Melissa" on my phone's contact list. After refusing to tell her who it was, she accused me of being a cheater, broke up with me and stormed out of my house. Melissa is the name of a woman from Craigslist who was going to sell me an antique engagement ring. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were on the road. She saw that I got an innocent text from a friend, Melissa. In a fit of jealous rage, she put the gear of my car to “P” causing the car behind me to rear end me. My bumper fell off. She told me, “Tell that bitch Melissa to take care of that.” FML
Today, I was shopping with my girlfriend, when a girl came out of nowhere, screaming at me for cheating on her, and saying she was dumping me. I've never seen her before, and she was almost grinning during her little act, but my girlfriend believed it, and I'm now single. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me and threw all my stuff out into the yard because she caught me "texting another woman". Guess it didn't matter to her that the contact name was "Mom". FML
Today, my fiancée broke up with me over text message while I was away for work. She later posted photos of her and her new boyfriend on Facebook, while still wearing my engagement ring. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of almost four years was breaking up with me when she captioned an Instagram post saying, "Who else besides me is going into 2018 single?" I had already bought an engagement ring. FML
Today, I found out my fiancée has been sleeping with the salesman I bought her engagement ring from. He knew. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she suspected me of cheating. She thought I was cheating because she caught me sneaking out in the middle of the night. I was sneaking out to plan my proposal to her. FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, according to my girlfriend's instant messenger, which she left open on my laptop, I am her rough shag on the side while she searches for a guy who is husband material that her parents will approve of. I guess the engagement ring in my bag is going back to the shop. FML
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Top comments
Ruffclue 9
Hey man you gotta learn how to lie.
Keevarou 17
You could have told her that it was because of a present to her... Then no loose ends to misunderstand on :) Fyl though, she sounds kind of insecure.. If she really love you, maybe she will want you back
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Comments (193)
Inediblepeaches 15
Dumb bitch.
hottiewitdamesse 8
Thats the sweetest thing ever! :) not the breaking up part.... But the engagement ring part. Sorry. But shell take you back when she finds out for sure! :) GOOD LUCK! you totes deserve it :)
kei1108 13
Just explain to her. Maybe try not to give the whole surprise away, but if you have to, you have to.
sleet7 4
Don't date a moron.
yummcookie 0
Don't stick your dick in crazy.
SAgirl 23
What was she doing snooping at your contact list anyway?
Locoluis 15
Why did you store her name? You could have named that contact "Nazg" or something more obscure. It was a secret after all. You'll never know when you'll have to lend your cellphone to someone, like your fiancee. If you have something to hide, do it right at least.
ebrainer1 9
Well congrats, dude, you now have a reason to LEARN HOW TO LIE. here's your first lesson: never tell huge lies. Always get as close to the truth as possible so your sorry ass doesn't slip up. Class dismissed.
laden_swallow09 35
If you really want to think about it, by that token, OP shouldn't even have MEN'S numbers in his phone, even if they were bros and buds for fear of OP turning gay on her. Yeah, the GF is a bitch. Good riddance.
mecca512 4
It's best to just walk away now bro.