Today, I reached a new level of commitment in my relationship with my boyfriend. This happened when he pooped on the side of the road beside my truck, while talking and making eye contact with me while wiping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
Today, while on a weekend away, my boyfriend and I went for a walk. I now get to tell everyone the story of how my boyfriend got down on one knee into a pile of cow shit while proposing. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, I had a stomach bug and had to run to the restroom because I messed my pants. My boyfriend's words of comfort? "Don't worry, bro. I've crapped my pants at least twice since we've been together." FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had no choice but to shit himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he'd pooped in. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Ahh young love. I don't remember it being that shitty. He was challenging you and asserting his dominance.
cjhons 16
Was he giving you the stink eye?
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Comments (132)
XxAnnie23xX 15
Lololol, atleast your relationship is good I guess. C: your obviously comfortable around him.
XxAnnie23xX 15
It is kind of creepy to look your girlfriend or boyfriend in the eye while their taking a shit thou. xD
GRRSOM 7
Making eye contact while pooping and wiping is always a bad sign.
Drigr 9
Actually, 11, it should be they're, the contraction of they and are.
CaramelMacchiato 13
If OP didn't mind, I don't think she'd write an FML about it. I think OP's boyfriend is the one who's comfortable about it.
Drigr 9
If OP minded, why maintain eye contact? Why not look away?
nerobluerose 10
At least he didn't ask you to wipe for him?
nerobluerose 10
They could also be implying that you are crap, and that he is wiping you off of his ass in his mind. Slap him in the face OP.
CaramelMacchiato 13
55 - Because of how extremely awkward the situation would be. Whenever I see something I'm not supposed to (like someone picking their nose in public, ect), I'll look in shock or whatever, then turn away to give them privacy.
KeyboardWarrior 10
57 You must beat your boyfriend senseless daily if you normally make such grand assumptions from small actions. I think you may suffer from major PMS.
nerobluerose 10
Considering I'm a guy, and would never harm my girlfriend, it was just a joke.
Boygenius50 8
he's practicing for when he'll propose while ********.
theoreticalnerd 0
Actually, 33, since the subject of the sentence is 'girlfriend OR boyfriend' it is a singular subject, so "they're" would be incorrect as well. It should be while "he or she" is taking a shit. I wasn't going to go there, but since you were a douche about it and equally as incorrect I had no choice but to call you out.
Drigr 9
I wasn't a douche about it. I did not talk down on them or try to make them feel bad about it. I said the mistake, and why it was a mistake. And, you contradicted yourself. You said their response was right, yet my correction was equally wrong. Which is it? Are we both right, or both wrong?
theoreticalnerd 0
Actually, I said both you and the original poster were incorrect. No contradictions there. Though "they're" is more appropriate in that situation than "their," there was a more glaring error that needed to be addressed with respect to subject-verb agreement.
OneNightStan 2
Got to love young relationships!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
This is strange and scary. Here's Dr. Zoidberg. (V) ( o,,,,o) (V) < whoopwhoopwhoopwhoop!
Rommel1942 9
Poop-1 ... Relationship-0 xD
eddie2144 0
Lmfao
iLickRainbows 2
I'll take this as an opportunity to thread jack you... Despite being a homosexual I find women who drive trucks very attractive. Trucks are sexy. Yum.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
Cmfao: crap my f*cking ass off.
misterjez 15
He wasn't wiping it on the side of the truck was he?
Zedd_fml 8
And YOU kept the eye contact, intact.
qwaszxwesdxc 0
Fyl po
SkoomaKi 28
I don't see how the dragon master has anything to do with this.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Polyester Oyster? What's he have to do with this?
SkoomaKi 28
Ahh young love. I don't remember it being that shitty. He was challenging you and asserting his dominance.
BeccaHugs 17
That's shitty. At least he didn't take a dump inside your truck?
robbydoherty 0
I see what you did there
perdix 31
Otherwise, you'd be driving a dump truck!
cjhons 16
Was he giving you the stink eye?
ghostlilac 25
If you had a problem with it, you could have at least looked away! :P
ImaginaryFoe 1
Really! No one makes you uncomfortable without your consent. Stop staring at the man and let him shit! Unless you're into that, in which case - well done, you!
ICastillo 25
You are a good girl friend OP. Some people just need support through shit like that.
22cute 17
It's a new level of intimacy...not necessarily commitment.