Ouch

Many such cases

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML

Where am I?

Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML

Give me strength

Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

Fighting fit

Today, my body is so messed up that I pulled a muscle in my side while farting. FML

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

Today, I had to take a dump in a box for a stool test. FML

Always wear camo gear

Today, I took a huge shit halfway through my gym workout, one of them half-wet, messy, stuck in your butt hairs. Three rolls and an anus with the feeling of carpet burn later, I proceeded to the bench feeling strong. At the twelfth rep, I sharted, right in my brand new gray pants. FML