Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother found condoms in my room. She asked why and I said, "Just in case." She started laughing hysterically. FML
Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML
Today, my mom stole the condoms out of my room and gave them to my little brother because I "won't be needing them anytime soon". FML
Today, my parents found my box of condoms. I'm 20, so it's no big deal, and they commended my responsibility. What they don't know is I don't talk to any girls, and I bought those condoms to jerk off into. FML
Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML
Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML
Today, I gave my mom a shirt as a birthday present. Apparently, she already had the exact same shirt, so asked me for the receipt so she could return it and get a different one. When she read the receipt, she grounded me. I forgot I bought a box of condoms when I bought the shirt. FML
Today, I walked into the laundry room when my mom pulled a condom wrapper out of my pants pocket. She looked at me and said, "You know you can't wash and reuse these?" FML
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Top comments
89jessica 0
I have two words for you: Lightsaber battles.
explodingmuffint 0
You should have told her you took up drugs instead.
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Comments (129)
acetwiny 4
Lmfao XD
JacksonCampbell 9
omfg a turtle!
iliketurdles 7
someone mentioned a turtle again? Man, I am always late.
instnt1nfction 17
a friend of line took a ride on a turtle
mintcar 10
Glow in the dark condoms sound awesome!!
bamagirl14 0
what is the point of glow in the dark condoms? you aren't going to see it once it's in the girl's ******.
Doortje 30
There's more to sex than just sticking it in there you know.
ScaryyMary 14
Glow in the dark condoms: So gay men can play Star Wars.
gdavis15 0
Because its just plain awesome!
mnwv 3
lol who knows maybe she will open her mouth and you will see the flickering light
mikeepoo 0
who said it was a for a girl?
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN! Glow-in-the-dark condoms are just too awesome to not buy.
ijrnelson 0
ah I see bama girl that's how you do it *takes notes* in... the... ******... right got it thanks
TaylorMady 0
Lol so true !!
ToxixShots 0
wow glow in the dark i got to get some
bamagirl14 0
yeah well i'm not going to see it if it's in my mouth either.
bamagirl14 0
yeah well i'm not going to see it if it's in my mouth either.
felipe87 2
it's going to be going in and coming out. that is how sex works
jsmathwiz 2
Mhm hott mental image
jsmathwiz 2
Mhm hott mental image
dirtylemonz 0
that's just mean if you leave the condom on while it's in your mouth.
wolfc 0
suck a dick without a condom
bamagirl14 0
i know how sex works, but i'm still not going to be watching his dick during sex to look at the glow in the dark condom. if a guy wants to buy them, then fine. He can. i'm just saying that i would not be paying attention to it.
gabrielbaby 9
It's not for you to see.
JakeS93 0
Think of it as a way to know where your boyfriend is at all times when you're changing positions in the dark. Does that help a little bit?
CovertMilitance 0
Its okay. you are Canadian. I dont expect you to get laid
b1ondiee 0
exuse me .? shut up you have no right to talk that way about Canadians .
instnt1nfction 17
ya, we may ride polar bears and live in igloos but our people are not American fatsos
jewfroditmer 7
Case and point #54, is you saying exuse. Go Canada
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
It's okay 22, you are a dumbass. I don't expect you to get laid until you are 6-feet-under and get eye-****** by worms and maggots.
mea_iloveskiing 26
Heh?
picklezz123 5
are they from the condom shack downtown ?:P
rickyornash 0
lol i just passed tht store hahha
dramayall 0
What a waste of money man. Go get laid
cheex87 0
who doesn't get laid in over a year?! I mean, unless your significant other is deployed overseas you have no reason to have such lame sex life!!!
Sinkhole 26
A lot of people don't have sex in over a year! There are people who are still virgins... who would have thought that, right? Oh, and you can't forget about single people who don't like casual sex.
allmidnighteyes 11
You seem like an especially classy lady, cheex.
stone1 0
agreed.