Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML
Today, I just landed in Washington, DC. Unfortunately, I also took off from Washington, DC an hour ago. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, thanks to my new anti-anxiety meds, I am finally no longer agoraphobic. Today also marks 5 weeks of constant diarrhea due to the same meds. Guess who's not leaving the house anytime soon. FML
Today, I was searched and questioned at the airport for having an apple. FML
Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML
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Top comments
goldenscorpion_fml 15
No one 'decides' to get diarrhea.
leaper66 12
F their life. Not only was that uncomfortable, they were probably really embarrassed because everyone now knows them as "the person who had diarrhea and held up the flight."
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Comments (104)
shellyluv 23
Ew. That stinks OP. Im sorry for you.
slyde32 12
I would feel sorry, if op wasn't such a jerk. I feel more sorry for the person on the toilet, they had no idea it was going to happen
SystemofaBlink41 27
I have IBS, so I can relate to having boiling lava come down in the most inconvenient of times. It sucks about your flight, OP, but it's not that person's fault for being a human.
Missus1 7
Pretty sure no one "decides " to get diarrhea...
nmw404 6
Atleast it wasn't an ebola scare and u didn't divert
Britt125 16
Aww, I feel bad for them. I'm sure they didn't want to get diarrhea on the plane, or at all, but especially on a plane where likely they're just wanting to go somewhere quite likely on an enjoyable vacation and I'm sure "getting diarrhea on along the way" was not in their plans. I'm sure they felt quite horrible getting it in the first place, probably embarrassed to be tying up the bathroom because of it, and probably even worse for causing take off to be delayed. I get it sucks to wait, but this isn't a FYL situation. Shit happens (sometimes literally), you should be prepared for delays before flying anyway, you don't have to enjoy them just accept them... and you're not the one suffering most in this. It's not like it was some jerk holding up the plane because they were being violent or something, or screaming out that they had Ebola, or you know something they can actually control then I wouldn't blame you, but for something like this it just seems insensitive to complain.
Turtle_spit 5
Oh my.. I'd be off that plane so fast..
katties 27
I'm pretty sure that the "safety reasons" are that the plane is not supposed to lift when someone is one the toilet - everyone has to be in their seats with the belts on...
LennyComa 39
Man up Princess. Dude had Diarrhea, give him a break. Maybe you'd miss a connecting flight but most Airlines will rebook if that happens.
worldclassrager 41
That's why I take a seat near the centre...
Seashells77 25
I won't be surprised if I scroll down some and find an FML saying "Today, I got diarrhea on a plane...."
momac86 17
What's the worst that could happen... They're scared ***less?