Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML
Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML
Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Today, as always, when my dad says he needs my help and that it will only take 15 minutes, it will actually take all day because he doesn't plan ahead. This has happened three times now, so this time I demanded he compensate me for my time if I have to drive out there. He called me an "entitled little shit" and hung up. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, my family was leaving for a weekend trip and was supposed to pick me up on the way down. About an hour before they are supposed to arrive, my mom calls to tell me that there's no room left in the car, so they won't be stopping to get me. FML
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Top comments
LittleMissMack 0
Parents have sex, it's not that big of a deal. And its better than "Today, I didn't call my parents to let them know I was coming home. I walked in and heard my dad f*cking my mom. FML."
ajscott 0
Look on the bright side. At least you didn't walk in on them having sex on the living room floor.
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Comments (123)
Xaos 0
#28: bawwww, **** that, it is ok, period. who the **** are you to decide when and how they should do it?
LifeSUCKS143 0
I would say FYL if you walked in on them...thank God you called first...lol
MissFae 0
#28, how is that not discreet? He didn't say "Hang on kid, I'm bangin' yer Mom (muffled: How do you like that bitch? You want it harder? I'll give it to you reeeaal hard!) anyways, don't come back till morning cause we're going aaaaall night (wink no one can see)." He said "Now's not a good time. Drive around the block for 15 min." If the kid is old enough to drive they are old enough to know that parents (in solid, happy relationships) have sex. If they don't....there's the trauma, start looking forward to divorced parents kid. They were having sex in their home, while their kid was OUT OF THE HOUSE. At night, a teenager (they aren't known for proper sleeping habits) is going to hear them. Hell, even my 4 yo catches me sometimes "Mommy, I hear your noises"...."It's ok, they're happy noises honey, now go back to sleep." Healthy sex life FTW! Go parents! :D
iammeanttolive 0
LOL @ #17. Well, my parents have sex while I'm in the house because they think I'm asleep. Just be thankful you don't have to listen to that shit every Saturday. I've started to play Rock Band all the way down in the basement so I don't hear anything. I mean- who goes to sleep at 12 am on a Saturday? Maybe I just stay up too late...
X3liteXHunterX 12
Well I can see you parents don't go to bed at 12 on a Saturday.
FuzzMonkey09 0
Okay...thats SICK!!!!!!!
DanIsTheMan 1
You should be happy pops picked up and told you to kill 15 minutes before coming home, better then walking in on in lol
billjets92 0
u shlda came home and watched haha
bebekinza 5
you are sick & disgusting
m0nicam0nster 0
its just a little awkward. since you can't do that to them. people need to grasp this
wolfy_fml 5
To everyone saying stuff like "Grow up! Parents have sex!" ... Well DUH! It doesn't make any less disturbing though! When we added onto the house, the addition on my parents room was made as a loft. I was lucky enough to hear them having loud sex all the time. It was horrible. Then if I ever left my room I could hear it and if I made any noise downstairs, my dad would get after me because it was "hard for [him] to get any with [me] making all that noise!" *shudder* I don't like to think of anyone I am related to having sex. It just isn't pretty.
sandy_fml 0
#42 your situation is truly f*d up. Your dad has issues...and amen to the first half of your comment.