Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML
Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML
Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Today, as always, when my dad says he needs my help and that it will only take 15 minutes, it will actually take all day because he doesn't plan ahead. This has happened three times now, so this time I demanded he compensate me for my time if I have to drive out there. He called me an "entitled little shit" and hung up. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, my family was leaving for a weekend trip and was supposed to pick me up on the way down. About an hour before they are supposed to arrive, my mom calls to tell me that there's no room left in the car, so they won't be stopping to get me. FML
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Top comments
LittleMissMack 0
Parents have sex, it's not that big of a deal. And its better than "Today, I didn't call my parents to let them know I was coming home. I walked in and heard my dad f*cking my mom. FML."
ajscott 0
Look on the bright side. At least you didn't walk in on them having sex on the living room floor.
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Comments (123)
Common_Sense 0
Ok, your life is totally not ******. I mean seriously, you're probably the only person on this site whose parents are still happy together. Don't complain that your parents have a good sex life with each other.
SgtSchadenfreude 0
Maybe I'm just weird, but whenever I heard my parents having sex as I kid, I felt an immensity of pride and gratitude for having parents who loved eachother. My inner voice always rang out, "Go get her, Dad!"
chapter_vII 0
ahahaha...your old man need play too
tinkerbell67 0
@79 you effing heard your parents having sex??? FYL x 10000
tinkerbell67 0
that is TERRIBLE. i would honestly come back 5 minutes later with an airhorn, open up the door a crack so i couldn't see in, and make it as loud as possible. that is honestly terrible of your dad. i'm sorry.
takran 0
#79: Yes that is weird. Good relationship is good, mentally cheering Dad on screwing Mom is... odd.
ILIEKGIRLS 5
WOLOLO
WildBill1337 0
correct response is to tell your dad to turn the phone off and lock the door next time. thats just gross.
MajorTom85 0
Hmm... I dunno, I think the worst part is that he was panting while he was on the phone with you. That makes me think that he didn't stop or slow down to talk to you. Yikes. Also, I'm having trouble deciding if he made the right choice by even talking to you. If they were in the bedroom, they could have answered the phone, said ok, then got quiet when you came in... I dunno. Something a little more strategic than that. But I guess letting you know not to come in is better than you walking in and seeing them on the couch or something.
robrobinson 0
At least you had a warning instead of walking in on them. That would have been a serious FML.