Today, I was on my way home from a friend's house. I called home ahead of time to let my parents know I was on my way. My dad picked up and in a panting voice said, "Now isn't a good time, drive around the block for 15 minutes." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a concert with a friend of mine. When his dad came to pick him up, I walked towards the car, expecting a ride. His dad told me he didn't have time to drive me home. I'm his neighbour. FML
Today, my dad refused to pick me up because he didn't want to get off the couch, so I had to walk for an hour and a half to get home. When I finally got home, my dad had gone out to pick my sister up from her friend's house. Her friend lives a 3-minute walk away. FML
Today, my daughter's school called to inform me that I needed to bring her some sneakers. Not feeling like driving the 15 minutes to her school, I told them I was away from town. Then I realized I was on my house phone. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML
Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Today, as always, when my dad says he needs my help and that it will only take 15 minutes, it will actually take all day because he doesn't plan ahead. This has happened three times now, so this time I demanded he compensate me for my time if I have to drive out there. He called me an "entitled little shit" and hung up. FML
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Today, my family was leaving for a weekend trip and was supposed to pick me up on the way down. About an hour before they are supposed to arrive, my mom calls to tell me that there's no room left in the car, so they won't be stopping to get me. FML
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Top comments
LittleMissMack 0
Parents have sex, it's not that big of a deal. And its better than "Today, I didn't call my parents to let them know I was coming home. I walked in and heard my dad f*cking my mom. FML."
ajscott 0
Look on the bright side. At least you didn't walk in on them having sex on the living room floor.
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Comments (123)
youareindeepshit 0
well, at least he didn't tell you to go downstairs and watch TV with the volume turned all the way up for 15 minutes.
Seegtease 0
42, sure, but none of that applies to this FML. The OP was out, and the parents saw an opportunity to have sex. How kind of them to wait. Then, when called, instead of not saying anything, the OP's dad said to stay out a little longer. That's polite, and if anything, the OP should appreciate being warned. What do you expect, for them to stop in the middle of sex because their kid is coming home soon? Have you ever even HAD sex? Because it's not something you really want to stop in the middle. And if the OP is complaining that they didn't stop in the middle, he/she's a jerk.
were_giraffe 2
I couldn't vote either way... All I could do was laugh. Sorry but that was funny. :-D
lwalters5 0
It is truly funny. But hey, at least your parents are still having sex.
ByFender_fml 0
"ok, I'm done with you mom, can you bring us some drinks..."
holynemesis1208 3
at least he warned you.
arms_akimbo 0
Yeah, your parents have sex. Big frigging deal. Where do you think you came from anyway?
wolfy_fml 5
#45: Yes I have had sex. I am a parent. Given the circumstances it was good to know not to come home for another 15 minutes... I don't think there was a way to win in the OPs story. Either she calls to say she is coming home and gets an earful of 'dad's out-of-breath-sex-voice' or doesn't call and hears everything. Either way it is disturbing.
Fa7_fml 0
@#7- that happened to me exactly. More than once. FML
kayykatastrophii 0
That's horrible! :[