Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first date with a boy I really like when my dad insisted on meeting him. My dad is super protective and a cop. He cleaned his gun in front of my date and made it clear he had to be careful with me. My date started to cry when we got to the car. FML
Today, my boyfriend's car broke down on the way to the gym, so he called his dad to give us a ride. On the way, his dad talked about how much he hates me and our relationship, as if I wasn’t sitting in the back seat directly behind them. FML
Today, my boyfriend has never gotten along with my dad, but this afternoon during what I thought was a completely normal conversation, he just stood up, yelled he couldn’t take my dad anymore, punched him in the nose, dumped me, and drove away. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, I was using my dad's cell because I had broken mine. I was texting my boyfriend all day when my dad needed his phone back. I forgot to tell my boyfriend that my dad would be using the phone. My boyfriend then texted graphically what he wanted to do to my dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying, "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!" He got mad and left my house. It was my dad in Ohio. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
Today, the guy I've had the biggest crush on came to my house to pick me up for our first date. As we were leaving, my father screams out "Do you still have diarrhea?" I don't have diarrhea. My dad thinks he's so funny. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mpsteve137 15
Sounds like he's already killing you by suffocation.
Michaelsgirl04 9
but what would they do for the other 55 minutes??
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
mpsteve137 15
Sounds like he's already killing you by suffocation.
blondebrunette11 4
I don't get it...
AsianCookie247 14
^ which now proves that your username is true. Congratulations on accomplishing that.
onlychildFTW 34
He is taking away her freedom and therefore suffocating her. OP, you got a crazy dad. I feel sorry for you and your boyfriend.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Movie date at your house?
kamikrazy 6
The dad said within the hour. Most movies that I am familiar with are more than one hour. I would suggest maybe 2-3 episodes of spongebob pre-recorded to skip through commercials and some popcorn... At the girlfriends house.
manda1511 5
....Wasn't the girlfriend the one that posted it?
CaptTeemo 10
Hey, all he said was to have OP home... Grab something to eat and movie night at OP's house? Just a suggestion. Also doesn't go against her dad's rules ;)
hecallsmedarlin 7
After that sight I doubt the boyfriend wants to be anywhere near her house....haha.
AsianCookie247 14
That just went Right over your head, didn't it 64?
tHeDaRkNeSs006 10
Sounds like a loving father..
domking1315 20
What does he expect you guys to fo for an hour?
mermaidcentaurs 9
Each other..
Michaelsgirl04 9
but what would they do for the other 55 minutes??
aJaguarinRed 9
A lot can get done in an hour...
8313girl 28
Three 15 minute quickies and then drive her home
LolFMLnot 10
That's funny, i'd laugh about it if I was your boyfriend
BunchieRules 31
Yeah, just forget about the overprotective and possibly drunk/insane man wanting to kill you and laugh it all off! (I say drunk, because why in the world would he run outside in his underwear just to yell at his daughter?)
hecallsmedarlin 7
Laugh?! ...I'm sure he ran!
sidewaysponytail 0
Just have a date at your house or go to the park. There's a lot of things you could do close by your house and not have your boyfriend murdered :)
11mandy80 6
At least he cares about u…
Calyx_fml 22
See what I mean? "At least...". Once you start noticing this meme you'll see it on every FML.
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
That's a nice image to remember...
JustPlayTheGame 6
Could of been worse images of without the underwear
redwingsfan88 9
Talk about protective...
thisisafunnyname 12
like condoms, right?
redwingsfan88 9
Yeah I guess. :P
BubbleGrunge 18
Well, were you back within the hour?
XtraEzeee 8
Actually she's posting this from her boyfriend's funeral.
BunchieRules 31
Maybe this was posted during the hour which OP's father so generously allowed them to spend. I can already see the other FML about her boyfriend's funeral...