Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gunpoint, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my family and I were parking downtown when my sister yelled to watch out for a man approaching our car. I see him pull something from his pocket. I yell "It's a knife, don't roll down the window!" It was a pen, he was the parking attendant and the window was already rolled down. FML
Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I was dogsitting at my friend's house and accidentally left my car door unlocked because I was running in to drop off my interview clothes. I came back outside to see a homeless man in my driver's seat, rummaging. I had to fight him. He was terrified. I couldn’t stop shaking for hours after. FML
Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, I pissed my pants in fear for the first time. Was I at a spooky haunted house? Nope, I turned a corner and got startled by a parked car. FML
Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration, so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize, and I was hit with a big stick. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
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Top comments
poindextrr 2
sounds like you live in the ideal neighbourhood!!!
Techtacular 0
Now if that was really a gun, is your defense still puking?
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Comments (104)
ittybitttyme 8
Wow really? What ever happened to common sense? Spaz
power6053 4
Dear op, this isn't call of duty where guns have gold or in Your case silver camo.
f10M4N31 0
Only in the ghetto...
kei1108 13
That IS a great defense strategy if you were actually getting robbed. Keep that reflex handy!
GUNN1313 3
First even if it had been a gun their are many reasons why he might have been carrying it. Like he was going to a shooting match or he was just a normal law abiding citizen going about his normal daily business. Perhaps he works in a job that requires him to have a firearm. But no in your hoplophobia works you in to such a state of panic that you vomit on your self. This is something I hope that you seek a therapists help to over come as it is affecting your life. As Sigmund Freud put it a fear of weapons is a sign of a retarded sexual and emotional maturity.
creeder 0
Spaz much??
Thunderstorm21 1
Haha,I'm sorry,but that's just great.
amadisdemitrius 5
You will not survive the zombie apocalypse.
Mortoli 30
Actually that is a really good way to get rid of mugger nice job man or woman lol.
MrJoshTheEpic 1
why would getting robbed make u barf?