Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gunpoint, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my family and I were parking downtown when my sister yelled to watch out for a man approaching our car. I see him pull something from his pocket. I yell "It's a knife, don't roll down the window!" It was a pen, he was the parking attendant and the window was already rolled down. FML
Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I was dogsitting at my friend's house and accidentally left my car door unlocked because I was running in to drop off my interview clothes. I came back outside to see a homeless man in my driver's seat, rummaging. I had to fight him. He was terrified. I couldn’t stop shaking for hours after. FML
Today, I was leaving a campus parking garage. Suddenly, a huge man appeared behind me and kept saying "HEY!" "STOP!" In a gruff voice. I picked up my pace and so did he. I finally turned to him with a can of mace and threatened to use it. He was trying to return the $5 bill I dropped. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, I pissed my pants in fear for the first time. Was I at a spooky haunted house? Nope, I turned a corner and got startled by a parked car. FML
Today, I was walking from my office to the place I had parked my car, a distance of approximately three blocks. As I was about to round the last corner, I was forced to dive out of the way of a speeding car. When I looked up, I noticed that it was my car. FML
Today, I was pulled over by a cop. He asked for my license and registration, so I reached for my center console. I was then greeted with a gun to my ear because my coffee cup supposedly looked like a gun. I stepped out of my car to apologize, and I was hit with a big stick. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
poindextrr 2
sounds like you live in the ideal neighbourhood!!!
Techtacular 0
Now if that was really a gun, is your defense still puking?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (104)
Kristoffer 35
YDI for throwing up at the sight of what you thought was a gun.
hateevryone 15
And all that happened by you just assuming.
jaq_d 0
You need to grow a pair and leave the drugs alone.
RedPillSucks 33
How do you mistake a watering can for a gun? Have you never seen a gun before, even on TV? Kudos for throwing up though. Next time, aim at the would be robber. They usually leave in disgust without robbing you. Or they'll kill you in retribution.
Leftieswillrule 3
Today I thought I was gonna get robbed at gunpoint but I didn't. FML
Bladian 5
You deserve it for saying "bugged out"
hunteer9 5
A good thing to know is that most guns are not very shiny, there designed that way so that guns don't glint and give your position away
alexxa143 0
Your a moron guns aren't shiny-__- especially not in the dark!
j_cat187 20
Ahhh, but what about a shiny chrome piece?
tobedd 13
Maybe if guns were not so readily available then people would feel safer sitting in their cars. Hmmmmmm
Princess_D33 9
Maybe if people were more educated on how to properly use them, they would be better prepared to handle a situation like this one. Or they could tell the difference between a watering can and an FNP-45 Tactical.
Nerdfightersrule 11
Anyway, I'm glad it wasn't a gun.