Today, my family and I were parking downtown when my sister yelled to watch out for a man approaching our car. I see him pull something from his pocket. I yell "It's a knife, don't roll down the window!" It was a pen, he was the parking attendant and the window was already rolled down. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving my little sister to school. She really didn't wanna go and was throwing a tantrum in the car. When we stopped at a red light, my sister notices a police man giving a ticket to another driver. She rolled down her window and screamed "Help me! I'm being kidnapped by a murderer!" FML
Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML
Today, after I got in my car in the Walmart parking lot, a creepy man knocked on my window. Since I'm incredibly paranoid and scare easily, I put my car in gear and tore out of there, accidentally hitting another car. Apparently he was returning my phone that I dropped. FML
Today, I was sitting in my car outside my apartment complex when a man came around the corner holding something shiny, and I thought was a gun. Thinking I was about to get robbed at gunpoint, I bugged out and threw up. It was a silver watering can. He asked if I was okay. FML
Today, I parked downtown for a few minutes to pick up a pizza. As I was getting out of my car, a sketchy guy came up and asked me for $5. I told him to get lost and walked away. I walked back to the lot with my pizza and my car was gone. The sketchy guy was a parking attendant. He had my car towed. FML
Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML
Today, I parked my car to go inside to grab my wallet than I'd forgotten. In the short time it took me to do that, someone broke two of my car's windows. FML
Today, I ran a red light in front of a cop and got pulled over. My friend thought it would be funny to throw a knife in my lap and scream "Help me officer, he has a knife!" FML
Today, I left a coffee shop abruptly to go to my car to let out some really bad and loud gas. My window was partly open because it's broken. A stranger was walking on the sidewalk in front of me. He looked terrified. FML
Today, I couldn't see my car in a crowded car park. I pressed unlock on my keys and saw the lights flash. As I walked over I also saw someone run from my car with an armful of my stuff. FML
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Top comments
ASUdec 0
Can't tell a knife from a pen.
C_Wicked27 0
And let me guess, you guys were about to floor it to your gated community after all that, weren't you? I know that according to the news, the amount of people randomly murdering other people has dramatically risen in recent years, but that isn't true. In fact, violent crime has dropped pretty substantially across the country in most cases. On the other hand though, media coverage of violent crime in recent years has skyrocketed. Basically, what I'm trying to say is.... STOP BEING SO ******* PARANOID.
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Comments (96)
Anonymous409 0
Lol I just moderated this.
codewow 0
lolz... it cant get much better than that
ZleveL 0
yup, he moderated it AND got first comment. he be livin da life
ASUdec 0
Can't tell a knife from a pen.
xleanne_aLly 23
f*cking whiteys
TheCamoWulf 17
I heard they have pens with a little blade in them....
HeyitsPheddy 0
How is this an FML? This is more like oh whoops, I made a simple mistake
shoelaces301 0
it was her sis
that_guy_you_are 0
Don't be an attention *****, no-one cares enough about you to stab you. STFU and continue being boring.
Anonymous409 0
You must live in a really bad neighborhood.
ASUdec 0
When I see strange people walk up to the car I always roll down the window. Then I hand them the keys to the car and get out. That is the smart thing to do just like assuming someone is going to knife you through the window.
heathkimbrell 0
I don't like this 1
that_guy_you_are 0
#6 is a moron and an idiot and probably ***** children. Duuuh why not just drive away instead of letting strangers stab you? You have a car, they don't.
Anonymous409 0
Hey #7 I don't give a shit if you like it or you don't. You shouldn't put yourself before the people. This is a majority vote. I liked it and I said "YES", so go suck a fat one. No, JK, JK. RAPE!
NEkoiNU 18
what the actual ****?
kishycathiee 0
You should become a superhero or something; the world needs you.