Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to wish us a happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us again and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML
Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML
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Top comments
masterblaster39 0
according to my wife.....******** only take 4 minutes!
swaggintothamax 0
15 is a wayy too long. I'd be bored by then
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Comments (88)
strandedinalimo 0
Five minutes is plenty of time lol.
topbanana 0
very annoying
suppressed08 2
I've just realised this: so how olds the baby?
laurenjayne 3
you are such a nerd !
erjaguam 0
she only called when she's five minutes away? wow.
delfoxio 0
wait u say that its ur kid but then his mom called...?
babybubz 0
her HUSBANDS mother... is it really that hard to understand?
Troll_Hater 0
Shut the **** up, shit head. No one wants to hear you correct other people's grammar. Fag....
beastlydevon 0
lol 69 WTF do you think your doing to boots?bashing him. i don't like snicker... she acts like she's the ruler of fml... so what if the op spelt something wrong it doesn't make u in charge to correct or contridict them...
guckylynn 19
71 I'm sure it was moderate and changed to lay after snick said that. You're dumb if you don't realize that happens.
katycrowston 0
wow......you are not nice