Today, my husband and I were going to have sex for the first time since having our baby, who was taking a nap. As soon as we lay down in bed, his mother rang saying she was five minutes away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was the first time in four months since our baby was born, that I could really enjoy it. After we finished up we walked into the livingroom, where my white faced brother was sitting. He said we left the baby monitor on. FML
Today, my husband answered a FaceTime call from his mother not 30 seconds after sex. I was naked in bed next to him. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML
Today, in the morning, my wife and I were having hot but silent sex on my futon while our 3 year-old slept in his crib. It was going great until my turn to come when I released a loud, "AARRGHHHHHH". My son promptly got up, took one look at me and his mother's back, then promptly went back to sleep without a word. FML
Today, my wife and I were getting intimate in the morning. First time in forever. Things were just starting to get steamy when our 10-month-old daughter woke up. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to wish us a happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us again and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML
Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML
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Top comments
masterblaster39 0
according to my wife.....******** only take 4 minutes!
swaggintothamax 0
15 is a wayy too long. I'd be bored by then
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Comments (88)
ladymissfrancess 0
this sounds like something my MIL would do. just say it's not a good time. i don't care if she lives an hour away, if she's showing up unexpected, she needs to learn it's not okay and you're not available (especially with a newborn) to entertain her at a moment's notice.
kenyrabit 25
Oh, hello MILly! Could you circle the block a few times? Jr. just laid down for a nap, which means Sr. just got up!
thatssomeBS 9
5 minutes is plenty of time...
furismurder 4
Hate the in-laws!!
Horney4her69 0
whats the problem? 5 minutes is enough time for sex
txdiva 0
Why answer the phone if y'all were about to have sex??!! YDI for answering the phone!!!!
Squander 3
Just because they didn't answer the phone doesn't mean that Mom isn't coming. It just means they don't find out mom's coming. So they'd either be interrupted during fun times [which sucks] or caught in action [sucks more]
sublimaze 6
if mom walked in and saw ass and legs in the air, she would call well in advance the next time
perdix 31
So? You'll have 4-1/2 minutes to clean yourself up and you wait until your mother-in-law to arrive to get your ass into the kitchen and make them both sammiches.
Zills 0
lol 30 seconds I was waiting for your witty comment.
buttshapedfruit 0
u cldv done a quicky!! haha
alex1432 9
you could have just given him a quickie
Mac10nikka 0
I'd let snickers do me... hahah just sayin