Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML
Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML
Today, I was having an intense argument with my girlfriend. At the height of it, in a rare moment of total silence, Alexa announced, “Now playing: ‘Someone Like You’ by Adele.” We both stopped, stared at the speaker, and then continued arguing while Adele sang on in the background. FML
Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML
Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
white_mouse 0
LOLOL YDI dude. B) What she was trying to say was she wanted you to think about it, and do something romantic, and pick a song that really reminds you of her.
Sessee 4
...So, do you ejaculate prematurely?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (134)
jazminbliss 2
hahahahaha, YDI never ever do that. I find that sooo funny. (ok not THAT funny...)
jazminbliss 2
hahahahaha, YDI never ever do that. I find that sooo funny. (ok not THAT funny...)
jaanejonas 0
#10 What's with Taylor Swift? At every FML that's about break up, you can find a comment about Taylor Swift.
mother_green7 0
couple "songs" are pointless. you do not need one
MiGman 5
#14 they're not pointless. they can be a good way to tell someone you love them when you can't think of something to say
Dhamy 0
Bleh. I hate people who are like that. "We need a song" ...the **** is that? Is not having each other good enough?
nafedog24 0
I know yeahh! totaly
adelaide_evening 0
Maybe it was a sign. And it seems like you kind of had it coming. She wanted you to be romantic or at least take the time to pick out a song that meant something to the two of you. Instead, you give her shit and just turn on the radio. I'm not too into couple songs myself, but you could have been a little more caring.
rose33red99 0
Maybe you shouldn't get irritated so easily and pick something sweet or if you wanted to just get it done with tell her to name off a few and you'd pick one from that.. or vice versa..
ZiggyMorrison 0
Is this in England? or do you have sattelite radio? cause I dont any station in america that would play lilly allen im not being an ignorant American just curious
Einthe 0
I've heard The Fear in Wendy's but that's it...
I_lost_the_game 25
This was in England
JadeStar 0
That's one of my favorite songs by her hahaha
izzyyy 0
"Your song" should be chosen spontaneously. I don't get why girls have to get so impatient.