Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML
Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML
Today, I was having an intense argument with my girlfriend. At the height of it, in a rare moment of total silence, Alexa announced, “Now playing: ‘Someone Like You’ by Adele.” We both stopped, stared at the speaker, and then continued arguing while Adele sang on in the background. FML
Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML
Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
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Top comments
white_mouse 0
LOLOL YDI dude. B) What she was trying to say was she wanted you to think about it, and do something romantic, and pick a song that really reminds you of her.
Sessee 4
...So, do you ejaculate prematurely?
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Comments (134)
scottyz1 0
My song is: "Dick in a Box" by SNL feat. Justin Timberlake.
whatnow444 0
You should check out the youtube video for that song. Every single comment that has been made on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUYaosyR4bE says something like, "I saw this on FML and I had to check it out". Now it has like 1,851,122 views. This website is so powerful
missus_butter 0
I'm mad about something completely unrelated and I want to take it out on you, and it would be SO EASY... but I don't have the heart. I don't know why. Bright side... At least you didn't realize she had anticipated your reaction, preset the radio, and timed bringing up the topic to coincide with a song she'd called and requested. Unless she did. She didn't, did she?
xx_hayleyy 0
#10- on of her songs is PROBABLY about the subject in the fml.(OUR SONG) (oh and this fml isnt about a break up.)
Fleur_fml 0
"When we go up to bed, you're just no good it's such a shaaaaaame!"
jesuischauve_fml 2
"(...) You never make me scream (...)".
arienh4 0
#19, fyi England and America are not the only two countries in the world. Here in The Netherlands Lily Allen is also on all the time on the radio.
BTROCK 0
Why the hell would you do that o.O There's never anything good on the radio.
FrenkM 0
Haha classic! It would've been better if the song played was **** you by the same artist...gold man, gold..
Einthe 0
Oh, I love that song!
NoThankYouu 0
I'm sorry but this is seems fake... it reminds me of the OC where she complains to ryan how they don't have a song so he turns on the radio and says "whatever song comes on will be ours" and first it's some rap song but then he changed channels and forever young came on .....
superkid 0
lmao xD well write her a love song. and make that your song. GOD! use your imagination*says imagination like spongebob*