Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing the "I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts…" song before we had sex. Now, every time we have sex, that song is going to be in my head. FML
Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML
Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML
Today, I was having an intense argument with my girlfriend. At the height of it, in a rare moment of total silence, Alexa announced, “Now playing: ‘Someone Like You’ by Adele.” We both stopped, stared at the speaker, and then continued arguing while Adele sang on in the background. FML
Today, I was introduced to a YouTube musician called S3RL. I was listening to a playlist of his music all day. Then of course when I went to pick up my girlfriend, some song came on that was just exaggerated sex moans pitched into music. She stared at me then burst out laughing and called me a pervert. FML
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML
Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
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Top comments
white_mouse 0
LOLOL YDI dude. B) What she was trying to say was she wanted you to think about it, and do something romantic, and pick a song that really reminds you of her.
Sessee 4
...So, do you ejaculate prematurely?
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Comments (134)
anglcdvl89 0
Foreshadowing...if you haven't had sex with her yet, anyway
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
That is saying something. I think Lily Allen is sending you subliminal messaging.
Trumpetwiz 0
It could be worse, it could have been "**** in my Pants", I think by The Lonely Island or something like that...but yeah, THAT would suck, what with the extreme premature ejaculation that song depicts, lol.
Jupi_fml 2
Haha, that's pretty funny.
radar53 0
meh! It could have been worse...what if had been the Rikrolled song?
MiGman 5
rickrolled song is pretty much a love song so it's not that bad
Ray_ 0
But it's a great song, so don't worry.
philadelphianus 0
me and my ex had a song and then he made it the ringtone for when his new girlfriend calls.
yesmy_love 0
dude, i love that song. that is ******* hilarious!!!!!!! and #35, "NEVA GONNA GIVE YOU UP! NEVA GONNA LET YOU DOWN!" that would have been an amazing couples song!! hahaha
PheasantKilla 0
me and my wife's is drips by Eminem. Beat that... I did the same thing as this guy.
cthulhu1138 1
You should have told her to write one.