Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for jokingly telling her to get back in the kitchen. After we finally made peace and I told her that I fully respect women, I turned on my stereo. The song's first words? "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." Cue second argument. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML
Today, I was listening to some music with my wife, and I mentioned that the song that was playing changed my mind about breaking up after an argument from years ago. For some reason, she got insanely pissed, threw a suitcase at me, and told me to pack and go. FML
Today, after a long and stressful week, all I wanted was some time to myself with a few beers and a good video game. My girlfriend apparently disliked this, because she started blasting Cardi B, ran the vacuum behind me, and poured my beer down the sink when I used the bathroom. FML
Today, my fiancée told me she was having a bad day while we were lying in bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep I thought it would be sweet if I sang her a song that her Mom sang to her when she was a child. Instead, I was told to shut the fuck up and that I sucked. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument; however, his new-found passion for hardcore rapping meant that he tried to "diss" me using bad rhymes and ill thought-out putdowns. It was ridiculous, and didn't really make any sense, so I started giggling. He stormed off, grumbling. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually yelled, "Why are you making this all about YOU?!" after I confronted her over cheating on me. FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, after weeks of my girlfriend moaning that I never go anywhere, I went out with some friends. An hour in, she started blowing up my phone. When I answered it, she was screaming in rage because I wasn't home to cook dinner. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
I may be a girl but I'm on your side...sounds like she was being too sensitive
Welshite 40
#7: I would label myself as a feminist with an emphasis on equality, but I'm smart enough to know the difference between a joke and an insult. Besides, to "put [him] in [his] place" sounds abusive and controlling. That's not feminism.
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Comments (51)
urdirtyolduncle 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
**** em all day, **** em all night, we don't love these hoess
urdirtyolduncle 15
Damn I guess people don't know or like Biggie
blinked_281 29
Still. It's just a song. I'm sure OP does respect his girlfriend and women in general. His girlfriend honestly seems a little dramatic.
JocelynKaulitz 28
That's not being dramatic, Im not sure many girls would like it if they was treated like a stereotypical woman.
tackblog 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
But all bitches are is hoes and tricks
thevelociraptor 31
I can just see your future girlfriend now... Wait where did she go? Oh right, to a guy who actually respects women.
blazingshot147 19
Either the blood to your brain went to your boobs, or you need to get a ladder to catch that sarcasm that went over your head...
23lf 16
You obviously don't know what sarcasm is do you?
Helpfulman 17
Shit, no guys that respect women get bitches.
BBeffedmylife 28
There's nothing I love more than a good domestic woman joke.. Thanks for the fml, OP. It made me chuckle!
WCARlover 35
I may be a girl but I'm on your side...sounds like she was being too sensitive
Brandi_Faith 34
I completely agree. If a guy says a comment like that he is joking around. Unless OP treats his girlfriend like an object and degrades her then I don't get why she would be seriously mad.
TanzWolf 26
I say leave her. If she can't take a joke at all or understand that just because that song played on the radio, it doesn't mean it's you, then you don't deserve it. If she starts arguments over that, she sounds like a bitch. Sorry, OP.
Arwen_Evenstar 37
I agree it was an overreaction to a joke, but that joke is far, far too overused by 13 year old boys to be funny. It just sucks as any type of joke.
Marie54321 19
She's overreacting OP Just tell her you had no idea that that song would be on
xpsychocatladyx 15
advice... good make up sex and you make the sandwich
GoBigRed 6
Nothing better than getting in trouble for something entirely not your fault...
Dreamsorrow93 24
Did she make you a sandwich?
WCARlover 35
You sound fun.
SaharaZinc 14
Sounds like she's one of those dramatic types that likes to keep the fight going. You made a little joke, and had no way of knowing that the song would be on. Your girl needs to chill, OP.