Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
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Top comments
Sea_shelle 12
Likes it a little bit too rough?
agirls_heart 5
Well if she's so uncaring about it, you should now know she's not worth it...
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Comments (137)
incoherentrmblr 22
F**k that sh**, not literally. Find a new gf.
Kriebel89 12
Poor guy! It's a pity your girlfriend doesn't understand that a guy's first time probably won't last too long. It'll get better though. Might I suggest having a good talk with your gf about her expectations vs reality? Practice makes perfect though.
rydersmomma 10
bitches be crazy!
Shandra78 9
Truth is, first times always suck. Good sex takes skill, tact, trust and experience. They leave out that part in the pornos.
cookie1207 19
No pressure.......
radiocaf 29
wow. what an asshole. you should have done the same to her and then she would know how you felt.
TisAPenguin 16
Shame? Honey, you're dating a psychopath. Run. I hope you read these comments and understand that you deserve so much better than her.
brandoneyez1 25
OP, the first time usually isn't great. You will lack muscle control and clearly due to Hormones raging you will be excited and lets just say its normal to finish quickly ... But after a couple times you will get ahold of yourself.
jh921971 10
Sounds like she's a bitch. Dump her.
xThatOneWeirdGuy 18
I guess there IS such a thing as too aggressive.