Today, I was trying on a dress at my grandmother's house. When I posed for her, she told me she would expand the waist, because I won't be sucking in the whole time I would be wearing it. The joke's on you Grandma, I've been sucking my stomach in since I was twelve years old. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandparents came over for a family dinner. I'm somewhat overweight, and my grandma kept making sound effects in time with me doing pretty much anything. When I complained to my dad after she made a long farting sound as I sat down, he told me to suck it up. FML
Today, I felt so self-conscious about my gut, I pushed it out and pretended I was pregnant rather than sucking it in. FML
Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML
Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML
Today, while I'm in the depths of postpartum blues and insecurities, my grandmother in-law gifted me a size 22 pair of jeans that does not fit her. I'm a size 12. I started crying and fake choked so that nobody would notice. FML
Today, I went shopping with my grandma. Told her I saw a pretty dress I liked. She asked me who would fit in that? When I replied they have it in different sizes. She replied with, "Yeah but definitely not yours.". FML
Today, my mother gave me a dress she'd made for herself at twenty five. I’m seventeen. It fits around the stomach but is gappy all around my butt and boobs. Thank you for reinforcing my theory that I’m somehow both flat and fat at the same time, mom. FML
Today, it was the first dress rehearsal at a community theater. I'm playing a grandma to a bunch of little kids, and the guy who is playing the grandpa wears a fat suit. I put on my costume and one of the kids comes up to me and says, "Are you wearing a fat suit too?" and pokes my stomach. FML
Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML
Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
That sucks.
RichardPencil 32
That’ll make a big difference
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
That sucks.
bloopaloop 27
You must have some nice abs! If not, lay off the sweet stuff.
RichardPencil 32
That’ll make a big difference
zuckerburg 21
somehow "losing weight" never occurred to you? weird how people would ignore the easiest solution. That or don't buy clothes that's too tight. But hey, what do I know, FYL right?!
Sinshine 28
Actually, that totally sounds like the joke's on you. Ever considered losing wrought instead? Alternatively, build some confidence and accept your body.
Habacadavarus 12
An amusing FML, until you get to the comments.