Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. Unfortunately, she started fake-moaning like a pornstar before I even entered her, totally killing the mood and my boner. She swore she hadn't moaned, accused me of not finding her attractive enough, and angrily left. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity. I couldn't get it up. FML
Today, I was finally all set to lose my virginity. My girlfriend pushed me onto the bed and pulled off my underwear. She then made a face as if she'd just sucked on a lemon, and got up and left without a word. I haven't heard from her since. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It lasted about 20 seconds, and he cried during it. I later heard him telling his friends he'd given me a "damn good pounding" and "made her cum 3 times". I wish. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's virginity. A few minutes in she remarked, "If this is what sex is normally like then I'm seriously disappointed." FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML
Today, I lost my virginity. In the middle of it, he just gave up and said he wasn't in the mood anymore. Then I had to listen about his past failed relationships for over an hour. FML
Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML
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Top comments
Sea_shelle 12
Likes it a little bit too rough?
agirls_heart 5
Well if she's so uncaring about it, you should now know she's not worth it...
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Comments (137)
Inked0803 12
Her sensitivity astounds me
caligirllife 11
Sorry about that dude. Girls should know that the first time isn't very good for anyone and should've let you do your thing and enjoy it
FenrirSoldier 2
Still counts
snydeeli000 27
Should have dumped her. Bitch doesn't understand what is and what isn't important.
doodlebug33 20
Don't worry. You'll meet the right one
Obey_StudBoii 23
Time for you to move on to a woman that'll be worth your time.
Dashelle 25
Now you can lose it to someone who actually cares about you!
picturescrazy 24
I'll be a devil's advocate, rather than jump to the "you should dump her" response. Was it her first time too? Her girlfriends probably bitched about how awful their first time was & freaked her out. Of course, it isn't a dude's fault for an awful first time, ESPECIALLY if he's a virgin too. Every girl dreams of an amazing first time without realizing the reality of the situation. Should have talked to her about it first before jumping into it to see why she was so worked up about having a rotten time. If her issue was you coming too soon or not giving her an ****** or whatever, talk about it! A lot of the time, the issue can be rectified, such as giving her extra attention before/after to ensure she enjoys herself too. Communication is key! If she's not a virgin, dump the bitch. She's not worth your time if she doesn't want to make an effort to make YOUR first time special for you!
Dusty_Busters 15
It's not your fault man, she's crazy.
toaster012 17
Waste of 30 seconds. You can do a lot of better things in 30 seconds.