Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML
Today, I asked a girl what time she'd like me to pick her up for our date tonight. She didn't know what I was talking about. It seems like, after months of sweaty palms, nervous smiles, and awkward sentences, I only dreamed she said yes to going out. FML
Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML
Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML
Today, I was online dating and a girl from high school messaged me. Thinking she might have matured since we're now in our 40's, I messaged back. She then said it was a joke and that I'm still a desperate, pathetic nerd trying to score with the hottest girl in class. FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I was playing Badminton in P.E, and I was paired with a particularly pretty girl, who for some reason kept asking stupid questions that we both knew the answers to. I've only now just realized that she was trying to initiate conversation with me. This is why I have no friends. FML
Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Sounds like she just clocked you in the face.
Megan98 18
I would've said "You're right, I can do so much better".... Then laugh when she has a bitch fit.
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Comments (49)
foxtrousers 14
Appropriate response: "I was just asking the time you stuck up bitch." Then walk away. Might as well play it off and leave with some pride
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lol that was your best pickup line? Why not just being yourself "hey how are you " type conversation.
FlyingPie 17
Wait just a second.. Are you going to just sit back and watch her do that to you?
RaulGarcia30 10
You should've said alright I'll invest my thousands of dollars somewhere else
EpicSquishii 21
"You'll be sorry! I have money and YOU aren't gonna get any! Take that!" Oh to be there to hear the girls laughter the next time you say something dumb like that.
TheSofaKing 7
She belongs in the Bitch league.
yourmofo 6
I would say So I'm off to the major leagues then. Then disappear with the quickness before she has any remarks so she can be burned alive in front of her other 5 rated friends.
journeytotheend 16
I would've said "I usually do but my buddy over there was telling me that it's better to have more cushion for the pushing, so I figured I should find out if that's true or not"
jayray313 21
Should have said, "you're right, I deserve hotter."
journeytotheend 16
haha and go for her friend
noelasis94 18
You should have told her it was hammer time then said can't touch this
LouisianaBob 9
To which you responded "fair enough" and started working on better conversational skills? If you have a good personality then you will be able to find someone enjoyable to be with and if someone shoots you down on your looks alone then they probably aren't very attractive on the inside.