Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML
Today, I asked a girl what time she'd like me to pick her up for our date tonight. She didn't know what I was talking about. It seems like, after months of sweaty palms, nervous smiles, and awkward sentences, I only dreamed she said yes to going out. FML
Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML
Today, I got rejected by a girl I wasn't even trying to ask out. FML
Today, I was online dating and a girl from high school messaged me. Thinking she might have matured since we're now in our 40's, I messaged back. She then said it was a joke and that I'm still a desperate, pathetic nerd trying to score with the hottest girl in class. FML
Today, I told a girl that I liked her. She replied, "Don't." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I was playing Badminton in P.E, and I was paired with a particularly pretty girl, who for some reason kept asking stupid questions that we both knew the answers to. I've only now just realized that she was trying to initiate conversation with me. This is why I have no friends. FML
Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Sounds like she just clocked you in the face.
Megan98 18
I would've said "You're right, I can do so much better".... Then laugh when she has a bitch fit.
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Comments (49)
karlcolt45 19
clock blocked! next time compliment her on something obvious but not inappropriate. hair, eyes, smile, shoes. that usually breaks the ice
SomeRandomGuy15 18
Wow, imagine her face if it turned out you actually DID just want the time! :D
hannaaaahr 33
I really hope OP told her that!
nooshGol 15
There were probably more polite ways to turn you down. Sorry OP :(
Atomic_Mushroom 14
Looks like its time to watch other pickup techniques. Perhaps next time you need give yourself a minute before approaching her, so you don't over-clock yourself. It may be wise to also approach your grandfather about what happened, perhaps spend an hour and listen to him clocking on about life experiences.
Catkam623 27
It before trying to pick someone up you don't know you should spend some time listening to them clock about what they like they may be a real cucko but you wouldn't know that just from watch-ing them.
5t3ff1k4h 45
Ha, you made it that obvious eh? Good. Lame pickup lines deserve awesome shut downs.
KyleGruber 2
Seriously! Maybe she just meant "You're out of my league because you are pathetic at this." and meant nothing about his looks (though he's probably also ugly. So there's that).
pedinhuh 23
Ohh that shit BURNNSS!!!
Lvl_8 7
- 3 charisma
Phoebe_Buffay 14
I think a "Hey, how you doin? ;)" would have been more effective....
BellaBelle_fml 23
With your name and photo added to your comment, I read that in Joey's voice from Friends. Perfection.
FlyingPie 17
She just bitch-slapped you with the hands of time.
GhostChickens 17
How did she know you were trying to pick her up? If somebody asked me for the time, I wouldn't assume they were flirting. I've never met anybody who could make it sound like a chat up line so that's quite a skill you've got there, OP. Also, the girl could have been a little nicer about it. Manners cost nothing!
starw0lf 31
I agree, I would never assume someone asking the time would be a pickup line.