Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML
Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML
Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML
Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML
Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML
Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
YLIF 0
I'm suprised she was even talking to you for a while if she was still pissed at you. But YDI, obviously.
r1cthj 0
wow man, wtf?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (152)
r1cthj 0
wow man, wtf?
pittsports87 0
who remembers who they met at a bar a year earlier if you never talked to them again? F her life for not having one!
sjd017 0
could be because you used the term chat her up
well_this_sucks 0
true that mann
L0veh8te 0
Wow, remembering a person you met once a year prior, Kinda of weird to me. Maybe it was her way of telling you to **** off and she's not interested. Just my Opinion.
heruneko 0
I'm thinking u need to get new pick up lines cause I ain't remember no one I met a year ago at a bar lol if ur still using the same shit at the same bar then ya she's gonna catch u
reader5567 19
She was playing him.
YLIF 0
I'm suprised she was even talking to you for a while if she was still pissed at you. But YDI, obviously.
Neroflux 0
I'm thinking it could be the girl's excuse not to give him her number.
YLIF 0
thats possible
TheLittlestNinja 0
haha she OWNED you!
LaLaJoy 2
Neroflux - that's exactly what I was thinking. Her claim may or may not be true....
glassisass 0
you should have told her that was your twin brother.
TheLittlestNinja 0
if they got serious he would have to provide his twin brother then... or have family photos or something.
I_ate_pikachu 0
But if they got serious then I don't think she'd care that much if he used that lie to get her.
bmach 0
Why didn't you call her? Was she not cute a year ago? If so, I'd understand.
Alexgoesfml 3
That wouldn't make sense because he wouldn't have asked the girl for her number first time round. Also YDI, no offense, but you sound like one of those assholes who don't care if he hurts the girl's feelings.
roydawgg 3
He was drunk and forgot it's a mistake
biiiiizzzay 0
i say FYL because, unless u hav a call log for a mind there is probably no way u could remember her.
waterynuggets 0
Nah it's clear he only wanted to bang her (again ROFL.)
KumoFF7 3
YDI for being a man *****.
douche_baggins 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for not putting her in her place a year ago. she should have been making your dinner and washing your dick, dishes, and house like the obeident woman you should have made her. OP, you're failtastic
biiiiizzzay 0
wow you really are an asshole. i say F YOUR life douche baggins.
hahawaitwhat941 0
douchebaggins, go to hell, you sexist bastard. women aren't dogs and you dont ******* train them! I hope you never find a wife, and if you do, i hope she divorces your sorry ass.
silly_kate 0
lick my clit, douchebaggins! stupid mother ******!
chrysme 0
really, ur seriously a dick. what is wrong with you?!
jisaac09 25
You really are a douche, no MAN would ever let women talk to him like that, oh shit, gotta go, my wifes coming and dont like me on FMLs.... im caught.... LMAO, Back in the kitchen where u belong.....
whoaelena 0
Ha-Ha *Nelson voice*
ask62589 0
hahaha this made me laugh
saleha97 4
lmfao!
divineinstrument 2
Wow you playah- you sound kinda like Joey from Friends (god that used to be such a good show!)
neonokku 0
I know, but then it losts its touch @OP: It's kinda creepy that she'd remember
skampa 0
I miss that show I still watch reruns.
xxlillyxx 0
ive been told that i run like pheobie..... (i do NOT!!!!) lol love watching reruns
eenalee 0
that was EXACTLY what i was thinking!
deaditegirl 0
YDI for being a douchebag.
_Noon_ 0
Wow, someone has a photographic memory..