Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sent a message on Facebook to a girl I really like. She replied, "..." It took me three hours to realize she'd actually written it. I thought it was just Facebook telling me she was typing. FML
Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to, "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML
Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Today, I sent a text to the girl I've been getting to know online, text which was meant for my best friend. It was a screenshot of my her Instagram page with the caption, "I can't believe I'm actually going to talk to her today." FML
Today, after being played like Playstation 5 by so many girls, I decided to give a chance to the girl who used to be my best friend and who I turned down. I went on Facebook to hit her up. First thing I see on my feed is her engagement photos. FML
Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML
Today, I received a friend request on Facebook. I didn't know her, but she was cute, so I accepted the request. After looking at her pictures, I sent her a message saying "What's up cutie, do I know you?". She responded "Yes, I'm your cousin". FML
Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex. This afternoon I notice that they had accepted, and had left a message for me in my inbox. Asking how they knew me. FML
Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML
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Top comments
Marmarfarfar 25
She is very sure of herself...
Antares_01 9
Shoulda just showed her up and went like "what date?.. I just wanted to know more about (her friend). Who said anything about asking you out?"
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Comments (118)
Marmarfarfar 25
She is very sure of herself...
soccerstar1996 18
Bitches crazy
TheJester12 15
Especially to reject porter Robinson ! Who even does that ?!? And here i was thinking he was drowning in pussy. Who Would have thought ....
TheJester12 15
Edit: op may have just misspelled " Porker Robinson " that would make a billion times more sense for explaining the instant rejection
plum_lovin 28
If I wanted to go out with someone and they said that to me, I would have shot back that I just wanted to say whats up and that they are not even close to my type.. or some kinda excuse. I wouldn't wanna go out with someone that full of themselves anyway and just make them feel dumb for acting like that.
isallwaysme 27
I'm her defense, maybe OP is a big time player, and she doesn't want anything to do with players. Just a thought.
isallwaysme 27
In* my bad, auto correct
cbro135 1
Should have said, "I know what you girls are like, a dime a dozen".
ohgeejosee 19
She sounds like a major arrogant bitch
Girreth 7
Sounds like one of those arrogant college students taking a psychology course for the first time who begin every conversation with "There are x types of people in the world, and you're the type who ." The bit about predicting the future is hilarious, though. Should have replied with "That phone call you're going to make 8 years from now asking me to hang out because I'm successful while you work at Hooters? Not a chance."
mpsteve137 15
Sounds like she's just saving you time.
Sekkaichi 12
She sounds annoying and irrogant anyways. Better off not having her in OP's life.
citygirl28 11
OP, were you already friends with this girl, as some commenters are assuming? if so she was a bit mean. But I suspect you're one of those guys who sends random messages to girls on Facebook. STOP. It's CREEPY. This girl just said what the rest are thinking.
Lizardgirl 7
Ew I agree. Especially when you share only 1 or 2 mutual friends. There's even a video on collegehumor's youtube channel about the epidemic of weird facebook creeps.
Noxialis 10
#70 - That's not college humour, that's actually a biography. My biography.
londoner86 13
Yes, she is saving you time. Time that you can now spend messaging other female strangers. Good luck with that.
feelingold 18
66 - we're not creepy. we just really really like social media.
mellingeramber 13
Haha I guess we can all see who is used to get a lot of attention. That sucks for you OP, but you could have just explained to her that you just wanted to talk, not ask her out. :)
XDsmileyDX_fml 24
But I think the point of this was he did, and she found him out.
IIFenix 3
That may have been the point. But by saying there was no plan to ask her it gives op more of a chance to let her get to know him.
yoimtrollin 24
Hey, could be worse bro. Try again, maybe with a person in real life
stevothedevo 25
Girls like that aren't worth five msgs anyway.
JACKxRAWR 22
Just a "woah, I only messaged you because judging by your ****-ugly mug no-one talks to you and I wanted to do my good deed for the day" message.
Ambient25 25
or he could have responded "Ok cool, yeah you were my fall-back the real person I wanted said yes"
lexa1love 16
But then you would be proving that you are "one of those guys" you should just say "well I thought you were pretty but now I know you're a bitch. Thanks for saving me the time I could have wasted on you."
crammer1 6
Or everyone could just be honest from the beginning? No, that's just too difficult!
Antares_01 9
Shoulda just showed her up and went like "what date?.. I just wanted to know more about (her friend). Who said anything about asking you out?"
TiffGreen 11
I like the way you think lol
Antares_01 9
I like the way you like the way think xD hahaha
Agaain 1
Pretty sure that the girl would see through that response immediately.
Dracoboxer357 36
Forget her, Op. Someone that judgmental may be more hassle than she's worth to even talk to. Carry on. ;p
challan 19
Does your Facebook name have "Playa" as your middle name? Are you shirtless with no head in your profile picture? If you answered no to both of these questions... Screw her. She's a vain bitch.
olpally 33
A very vain and stuck up bitch. She already knew she was going to say no. I'd like to falcon punch her for not even giving op a chance.
Faff 20
Well, she's allowed to not be interested. but she could have turned him down nicer.
perdix 31
Evidently, your "friendly conversation starter" was viewed as nothing more than a lame pick-up line to a popular girl. If you're going to hit on the hot girls, you'd better bring something outrageous, but if you want to stick with the formulaic "friendly conversation starters," go for homely girls -- they appreciate any attention.
Raesin 21
I was typing out a long thing about different types of women liking different types of attention, but it all kind of boiled down to, figure out if she's a *****, figure out what kind of ***** and then you're in. On reflection maybe just set your standards higher, sounds like she's quite full of herself. You probably dodged a bullet there OP.
nicolemadden 11
She is very sure of herself and overestimating herself.. It s very pathetic, none would like to talk to a cocky person.
perdix 31
#23, we don't know about that. First, I'd like to know what his "friendly conversation starter" was. Was it "ur hawt!" or was it something that was specific to her and well thought out? People generally like others with self-confidence. When it's in the right amount, we call it "self-assured," but when it's overdone, it's "cocky." Without knowing his opening move, it's hard to judge her reply.
Freethaawave 19
28 - Completely agree. For all we know OP came off to the girl as a creep, and I'm sure most girls would agree some guys just won't take a friendly no thanks and will keep pestering until a little attitude is necessary then its all "shes a bitch, shes not even nice anyways".
Pikawhore 21
If we all had the balls to be The Bitch like this girl did, we would have a lot less nonsense in our lives. Using a word like "conversation starter," OP sounds like someone who friended her on Facebook before they were friends in real life because she's hot.
chuckcloninger 12
Geez, even to a guy you sound like a loser prick. Hope you enjoy dating the ugly girls.
_DudeGuy_ 16
9, my personal favorite pickup line is as followed: first I signal them to come over using my pointer finger. When they walk over say "I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand."
upallnight11 19
There's only one solution: unfriend her on Facebook.
citygirl28 11
I somehow doubt they were friends.......