Today, I woke up in a military hospital, after having all four wisdom teeth out yesterday. A nurse came in with a breakfast trolley full of eggs and bacon, looks at my pleading face, looks at her clipboard and says, "Only non-solid foods for you, private." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the dentist to have a tooth pulled. The day before, I was too anxious to eat anything, so I went in with an empty stomach. There were complications during the extraction and now I'm not allowed to eat for the next 24 hours. FML
Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML
Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML
Today, the dentist told me I needed to have two of my wisdom teeth on opposite ends of my mouth pulled. I suppose a liquid diet won't be all that bad. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Afterwards, my parents thought it would be a great idea to have my favourite meal. I got to watch them enjoy it. FML
Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML
Today, I woke up from my wisdom tooth surgery… while they were still sawing my jaw. I had such a bad panic response that they also cut my lip, so I have stitches inside and outside of my mouth, as well as the haunting crackle of bone being removed from my skull stuck in my head. FML
Today, a patient came to the ER at 4 a.m., but left complaining I wasn't treating him properly. I treated his toothache with painkillers that would get him through the night so he could contact a dentist the next day. He showed me a TikTok video of the tooth surgery that he supposedly needed instead. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
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Top comments
Bogrbon 27
Those are my just military eggs or hospital eggs. They’re military hospital eggs. You must be truly desperate soldier!
kfchicken 31
why were you pleading? it sucks but it is what it is you should know you can't eat solids.
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Comments (6)
Bogrbon 27
Those are my just military eggs or hospital eggs. They’re military hospital eggs. You must be truly desperate soldier!
RichardPencil 32
Tell her to put some bacon in a blender!
kfchicken 31
why were you pleading? it sucks but it is what it is you should know you can't eat solids.
spinspinsugar 12
I had my wisdom teeth pulled, too. while I think eggs are gross, if that was me and I saw bacon, I'd cry lol
sarahcroy20 12
You're no doubt getting free medical care so maybe you shouldn't complain. Some of us are not so lucky.
IHaveThePower 18
Having had surgery before, that's to stop you puking it all up again, and if your wisdom teeth were removed, the gums need to heal. Put on your patient pants and eat what they give you. You'll be able to eat normally in a few days.