Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad, who lives hours away, called and told me he was getting married. Today. As in this evening. Guess I'm not invited. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding, and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed. I was about to call my parents and tell them we're getting married, but they called me first to announce they're getting a divorce. FML
Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML
Today, my father called me for the first time in two weeks since I moved away. Excited, I answered the phone. It was a mistake. He thought he'd called my sister. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 6
Maybe his wife is so ugly he didn't want you to see her. Perfectly understandable! Nah, I'm joking, he's an ass. Make her a widow.
DameGreyWulf 1
Must have eloped
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Comments (44)
nimbitty 0
My dad did that too, right after I had surgery.
Spike_The_Vamp 5
Oh dont worry. i found out about my dad marrying my stepmom by having a fight with my stepsister and her saying "hey guess what we're sisters now so you better be nice to me or my new daddy will hurt you."
triplethreat13 0
"Okay Dad, don't invite your own son to your wedding or anything. Just leave me out of the fact I have a new mother, and then make sure not to tell me in person."
wolfgirl_fml 0
At least he told you. My father married, well I don't exactly know when, but I found out only a few weeks ago. How? My grandmother showed me one wedding photo. He still hasn't said anything.
TheUnkown17 0
My father did the same exact thing, except he came by my house an hour before and let me know..
cmac86 24
wait, if its your fathers wedding, he must have planned this for some time, and you being his son and all would surely be invited, so I'm guessing you had too much to do to attend your own father's wedding? ydi!
lilfig16 0
when my father remarried, i found out 6months later when my best friend (and the guy i had a crush on for almost 6 years) picked me up at the airport for Christmas at my dads (court-ordered). When i called to tell my dad i landed he told me he had gotten stuck at work and sent my step brother to get me.
asmidiske 0
My mother called me while I was in class a couple of weeks ago. I called her back afterward. First she told me about her vacation and some things she saw in a store there, then she told me she got married. Welcome to the club, and FYL.
Lizaly 0
My best friends father told his other son a week after the wedding and just expected him to pass the message along.
EricaD 0
When my dad remarried he told me like 2 months later on the phone, he called me and said "Did I tell you I got married?" I talked to him several times before this.