Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML
Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, my worst fear was realised while walking past an under 15’s football game. The ball landed right by me and I attempted to kick it back, except it went flying diagonally & ended up even further away. I’m a 36 year-old man and got roasted by a bunch of 15 year-old boys. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
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Top comments
binga1496 1
I have a neighbor who threatens to shoot me with his nail gun if i step in his yard :/
FYLDeep 26
Bring a shotgun out to your back yard and kick another one over the fence. Then wait...
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Comments (101)
alexiiiis09 0
They sound sweet :')
animalover721 3
Now exactly how old are your neighbors? Also, keep your face away from footballs!
FYLDeep 26
Bring a shotgun out to your back yard and kick another one over the fence. Then wait...
Jall8089 9
So it’s fine to intrude on your neighbor, but not fine for them to get sick if it? 👌
animalover721 3
Wow. I would hate to be neighbors with Cruela Deville! (sorry I do not know how to spell it)
nailpolishCF 4
wow. tht is a threat! if u hav kids DEFINITELY b careful. what asses.
perdix 31
Switch to American football. If that goes over the fence, the neighbors will be scared shitless that a strapping American ass-kicker will come over to claim it. They'll meekly toss it back over the fence and change into fresh knickers.
FYLDeep 26
There's one problem with this. If a big strapping American kicked the football over the fence, it would sail into the the yard of whoever's at the end of the block.
perdix 31
Then everyone would fearfully, sheepishly and respectfully pass the ball over the fence until the rightful owner got it, and the ass-kickings can be averted.
Chad_the_Brony 0
No, an Australian footballer. We DON'T use padding or external protection of any kind. Some use a 'helmet' padding thing but the only other protection is a mouth guard.
3yellowzebras 19
So Rugby then...
iiNommBaconz 0
I recommend playing football in your front yard from now on.
21jason 9
Well then don't get your face lost over the fence
wildthang428 10
This is in between a FYL and a YDI... You're technically not playing it in your own backyard when it goes over a fence into the neighbor's yard... However slashing your face would be a bit much. Keep it in your yard and save face with your neighbors :-)
upyourzlolz 11
Yeah, because kicking it over a fence makes me playing in their yard. Also, how does that make it a YDI? smh.
wildthang428 10
The OP is physically in his yard, but the ball isn't when it's kicked into someone else's. If OP can't keep the ball on his property then he needs to not kick it around so hard or move elsewhere.... If your shit goes into someone else's property they have every right to do what they please (regardle
wildthang428 10
The OP is in his yard, but the ball isn't when it's kicked into someone else's. If OP can't keep the ball on his property then he needs to not kick it so hard or play elsewhere. I don't get what's so hard to understand about that. The neighbors gave him a warning to keep his shit off their property.
perdix 31
Put the soccer ball on a tether and tie the cord to a stake in your backyard. If it goes over the fence, you can yank it back over.
upyourzlolz 11
Or you can just play tether ball.
perdix 31
Essentially, it is. Instead of a short cord on a long pole, use a very long cord on a very short pole. It's kind of a hybrid of tetherball and crabbing.