Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML
Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, my worst fear was realised while walking past an under 15’s football game. The ball landed right by me and I attempted to kick it back, except it went flying diagonally & ended up even further away. I’m a 36 year-old man and got roasted by a bunch of 15 year-old boys. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
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Top comments
binga1496 1
I have a neighbor who threatens to shoot me with his nail gun if i step in his yard :/
FYLDeep 26
Bring a shotgun out to your back yard and kick another one over the fence. Then wait...
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Comments (101)
FlyingWhisps 5
Are they one of them scary biker gang folks? I heard of them, you best be getting out quick OP cuz they'll do it and they'll drag it out for as long as they can keep you alive.
pyrodrake 0
Slash their tires and stick a note to their windshield that reads "Next time, it'll be your ****."
imaxmain 24
call the cops?
5upernova 3
You should inform the police and have them deal with your neighbors. They are probably just trying to mess with your mind, but it is not a funny joke and there are way too many crazy people these days. What if something belonging to you gets blown over to their yard, or someone else's belonging gets mistaken for yours? At least let the police know about this or else if anything happens, you will be the one to blame for not reporting it. If your neighbors are so worked up about a football, I cannot imagine what will happen the next time something similar happens.
doumtabarnack 12
Send them a severed cat head saying with a message saying "try it and you're dead, bitches"
HU4L188 0
I love cats :'(
The__Redneck 7
This is called "evidence." Take it to the cops, and make sure to send your neighbor some soap-on-a-rope.
sylverdrag_fml 9
Go to the police and get a restraining order.
thebaconweave 0
Good I'm not the only one
mikede420 0
I would buy like fifty balls and put a **** you note on every I kick over.
mexicoman101 6
**** them, go throw a bunch of balls over their fence and shoot tjem if they come near.
cosmosis 12
Mexicans have all the good ideas...