Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML
Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, my worst fear was realised while walking past an under 15’s football game. The ball landed right by me and I attempted to kick it back, except it went flying diagonally & ended up even further away. I’m a 36 year-old man and got roasted by a bunch of 15 year-old boys. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
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Top comments
binga1496 1
I have a neighbor who threatens to shoot me with his nail gun if i step in his yard :/
FYLDeep 26
Bring a shotgun out to your back yard and kick another one over the fence. Then wait...
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Comments (101)
detorio 2
Don't let them intimidate you. Hold your ground and do what you want in YOUR property. Their bark might be louder than their bite
ikickgingers 15
The fake 'stache screams "My life is bro". I don't know if I like it... Or if I want to kick your shins.
randomhangul 4
do YOU want to test that theory?? because I certainly don't want to lose my face and I get the feeling that OP likes theirs too.
LilaBear 2
actually just because it's "YOUR" property doesn't mean you can do whatever you like on it. You have to get council permission to build structures any larger than a certain size. You're not allowed to have excessive noise and can have police demand you reduce the noise. And seeing as the OP was kicking a ball INTO THE NEIGHBOUR'S YARD, where it is NOT his property, the point is moot anyway.
FaraPjJammaz 13
It's your property, you can do whatever you want. If something goes into their yard, I'm pretty sure they have no right to do things like slashing your property and destroying it. Plus they threatened you. If you feel uncomfortable, you should go tell someone or an authoritative figure.
mojo87 14
Well, if OP can do what he likes on his property, then that suggests that the neighbours can do what they like on their property - such as slash OP's football...
brownbear16 0
take a dump on their lawn then right a note "next time it'll be on your bed!!"
foreverjoseph 5
Don't be such a bitch
hateevryone 15
don't be afraid to do whatever you want in your yard.
ikickgingers 15
Whoa T.I. I think someone needs a hug...
jellitonoctopus 19
Call the police.
MeganC070597 0
Call the cops and report them for it.
robjapan 1
What sad awful little lives they must have to do that to a lad playing footie in his own back yard.
Igor_g5 0
I would show it to the cops.