Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street, about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was sitting on a fence watching a friend play soccer. He accidentally kicked the ball at my face and made me fall off the fence into mud. I laughed it off and got back on the fence. Two seconds later he did the same exact thing. I fell wrong and slammed my face into the fence. Pain. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML
Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML
Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Today, my worst fear was realised while walking past an under 15’s football game. The ball landed right by me and I attempted to kick it back, except it went flying diagonally & ended up even further away. I’m a 36 year-old man and got roasted by a bunch of 15 year-old boys. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
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Top comments
binga1496 1
I have a neighbor who threatens to shoot me with his nail gun if i step in his yard :/
FYLDeep 26
Bring a shotgun out to your back yard and kick another one over the fence. Then wait...
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Comments (101)
amishfury 9
get a dummy grenade and toss it over with a note that reads "next time it will be live"
ohsheet 8
Tape a sign on it that says "is that a threat or a promise?" and kick it back over!
dangousity 21
Hint : call cops
bcrooks 0
Do it again they arn't going to touch you.
stewie13_666 0
You misspelled neighbors dumbass
ejd0411 1
No they didn't! The OP is in England where we use 'u' in lots of words, such as neighbour, favourite, colour etc. American's decided to alter the English language and use their own, without 'u's. You're a dumbass for being so ignorant!
katt_is_here 24
You forgot all punctuation. You are a dumbass.
saidawhiting 14
No, he used the proper Commonwealth spelling that all English speakers in the UK use. Dumbass.
shazza26 1
Someone's in a bad mood...
vanessa20783 6
go to the cops, they'll know what to do
racquel102811 0
kick back! (:
OfficeNinja 5
That's called "evidence" here.
Jalero916 12
Definitely run to the cops *with* the football & note! Get a restraining order & make sure never to look your neighbors' way again!! Just completely ignore the neighbors & live your life however you see fit! But I definitely wouldn't live in fear...