Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML
Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML
Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML
Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I tried to have sex in the shower. While trying to support her weight, as we got into things, I slipped backwards on the wet floor and fell through the Pyrex side of the shower, with her crashing down on me. I now have bits of Pyrex in my back and have to replace the shower side. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML
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Top comments
ktm71125 19
Thanks for the tip. On another note what on Earth made you think having sex on a glass table was a good idea. FYL
Chiroptera_Man 10
Talk about rough sex.
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Comments (83)
anthonyksee 11
Ouch
tbro47 23
I'd avoid doing that on any table to be honest. Tables generally aren't built to hold a lot of weight or deal with rapid movement. Add in the fact that it's glass and you have a recipe for disaster. Or at the very least a pain in the back.
doubleofuck 20
I feel like not putting weight on a glass table, especially if having sex, is a basic kind of thought. Perhaps next time just get a new toy or try some light BDSM stuff rather than risking your health and a table.
MidnaLink 35
Well, DUHHHHHHH!
countrygirl09199 13
That is the dumbest place to have sex. Maybe the countertop is a better idea next time. Just make sure your not near the stove!
iwadasn 33
Why would you think it'd be a good idea to have sex on an easily breakable surface that wasn't intended to support much weight?
Steve95401 49
At least nobody was underneath the table watching you.
lostinareverie 21
So will you be on "sex sent me to the er"?
man_in_black08 28
Good luck explaining that one to the doctor!
tranced_ 45
search Google for ideas.