New, from Goop
Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML
Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML
Today, I applied mascara directly onto my eyeball. FML
Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML
Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Crash92 0
Where have you been sticking your head?
TurtleGenius 0
Pour gasoline on your eyelashes and set it on fire; that should help. FYL indeed.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
loveyababe 0
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW THATS ****** NASTY
beany212 0
EW SQUEAL SCREAM BARFFFF
Luna_LoveIsGood 0
AAAHHH!!! now you got me all paranoid from tick season! (i fall asleep with mascara on all the time)
claudya_fml 0
**** your life??? **** mine for becoming paranoid immediately going to the bathroom to do a 15 min check for ticks. and now i keep feeling itches on random parts of my body.
Lucicx0 0
ticks scare me :[
Dreamlite 0
That sucks hardcore ewwww
george1124 0
that sucks...on the eye. but for the rest of u, having a tick is not the end of the world. i pulled off about 4 today, 2 were biting and 2 were just crawling on me. and u can just pull them off with ur fingers, then either burn them or get them on ur fingernail and squash their heads with another nail. and u cant get a disease from them if they just bite u. they have to be biting u for at least 24 hrs befor you will get a disease. and even if u do get it, just go to the doctors and get the medicine for it. if u dont, u could end up in a wheelchair.
wand3rlust 0
yikes... that's scary. I hope it didn't bite you.
miscellaneousact 0
i agree with number 3 just where have u been putting ur head?? also ticks *jump* fyi how could u not feel that thing on ur eyelid??? i think that its an fyl though :)
theodivine 0
Weird stuff like that happens to me all the time and it's never pleasant. Fyl.