Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML
Today, I applied mascara directly onto my eyeball. FML
Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML
Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, while I was shaving my nose started to itch. Guess which I shaved and which I itched. FML
Today, after working 8 hours and immediately packing my house for another 6 hours to prepare for moving, I was extremely exhausted and more than ready to brush my teeth and go to bed. I tiredly brushed my teeth with my mascara. FML
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Top comments
Crash92 0
Where have you been sticking your head?
TurtleGenius 0
Pour gasoline on your eyelashes and set it on fire; that should help. FYL indeed.
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Comments (135)
KRD727 0
This is going to give me nightmares forever
orangekoala_66 0
oh my gosh that seriously makes me want to throw up so bad and now i keep rubbing my eyes thingking there might be a tick or sumthing..thanks a lot! ewwwwwwyucky
elliekinslurvsya 0
#71, it ISN'T uncommon in some places. like #65 said, if you live in the country with woods around your house and dogs, tics will show up a lot (i would know, i used to live in maryland and my whole house was surrounded by woods, and we had 2 australian cattledogs).
hockeyfan_30 0
oh yuck. i hate ticks so much.
joemk2012 0
Eye bet that ticked you off
toddin 7
now I'm all paranoid about ticks dammit!
dc77 0
OMG that's totally disgusting but at least you didnt eat it
dc77 0
WTF ?! #55 wrote a novel
JoeTheBow 8
What a dumb tick!
chesebro47 0
ugh fuckkk