Never joke with TSA
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Today, I got looked at weirdly for brushing my teeth in an airport bathroom. FML
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Today, I was picking up my 10 year-old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
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Top comments
Livinia 11
Maybe he had a feisty fight with an eyelash curler back in the day.
prettyinpunk1025 14
yeah don't joke around toward them or cops... they never think its funny
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Comments (136)
Kg317 18
I have to say ever since 9/11 people have gotten way to stupid and paranoid.
BobOsso_fml 8
Our airport security is a joke. Just an illusion of safety.
kasumii 1
You can't joke at the airport. Shouldn't have brought something that looked so suspicious. One time I was flying my friend brought a giant soft paintbrush and they examined it like 3x.
angryoriental 0
you now they auction off huge bins of all the crap they confiscate...
death008 0
and we wonder why companies see it as a worthy investment to have private jets.
BrennaJeann 0
im sorry but the security guy must have been a complete idiot to think you could curl someone with an eyelash curler. haha i dont even understand how you can even use it as a weapon!
camartinez23 0
hey what can I say...the man needed new mascara for his "night shift" if you know what I mean...(moonlighting somewhere?)
ania04 3
So, I understand that yes, you shouldn't of had to miss your flight because you joked around, but why did you put the eyelash curler in your carry on anyways? Are you planning on curling your eyelashes mid-flight? To everybody that says "our airport security is such a joke" and that "people are so paranoid", think about that for just a second. Attacks do happen, and they can happen at anytime. Personally, I don't mind having to take off my shoes for two seconds at an airport, and if something was to go wrong, or there was a threat on YOUR flight, I bet you'd be the first one to complain that the security wasn't tight enough. Better to be safe than sorry, right?
MurphyS94 4
First of all, some women just take there purse as a carry on and some women just carry a lot of makeup things in their bag. She didn't have to plan on using it for it to be in her bag, maybe she just normally carries it with her. Second, people are complaining about the TSA because of how inconsistent they are about what they confiscate. If you've read the comments above, some people get things as ridiculous as a PEZ dispenser taken away, when some people, like a man I watched on The Colbert Report (or it might have been The Daily Show, not sure), can get away with carrying tons of weapons and dangerous liquids on a plane. The TSA is a joke because half of their employees aren't even doing their job, while the other half are taking away PEZ dispensers and eyelash curlers. We need an airport security that does a better job because I personally don't feel safe riding on a plane when the TSA is in charge of my safety.
ania04 3
Yes, women do carry purses, but she was not just going out with friends, she was boarding a plane and you have to be very mindful of what you take on with you for reasons of getting it confiscated and if you don't need it for the flight, then don't bring it with you. You can't say that "half of the employees don't do their jobs" because you haven't been to every single airport first off, and the many TSA's that do should be respected because they are in charge of our security and well being and maybe it's just me but I'd rather not get blown up when traveling across the country. People need to stop being offended when they get pulled aside to get checked, or stop complaining that security takes so long because you can't take chances with these things. 9/11 could repeat itself and just because things have settled down since then doesn't mean we should put our guard down. It's not the end of the world because you get a 99 cent pez dispenser taken away, just think about what you bring on board.
bearmichaela 0
I understand that people want to feel safe when they fly but why should the government be responsible for their safety? I can't think of a single thing that the government succeeds at (except the military) so why would anyone put them in charge of our safety. They hire the lowest caliber people and put them in a position of exaggerated power. They then look at little kids naked, frisk old ladies, and let every traditionally dressed Muslim walk on by because they aren't allowed to profile. Good job America, way to trade freedom for a false sense of security.
MurphyS94 4
I think you missed my point. Our guard isn't even up. The TSA takes away things like PEZ dispensers and eyelash curlers to make it look like they are doing their jobs, when in reality they are just stealing people's random harmless shit, because if they aren't confiscating anything then their jobs appear to not have a point. Should they take away nail clippers, knives, and other potential weapons? Hell yes. Should they take away things that are harmless just because they have the power to do so? Hell no.
LilaBear 2
"but why should the government be responsible for their safety" Oh please, what a joke. That's what the government is FOR. To keep its residents safe. I totally agree many of the airport security measures these days are extreme and unnecessary, but we do actually need some security and it is actually the government's job to provide that security. In fact, it's so much their responsibility that I object to them using contractors to get the job done, they should be actual government employees.
LilaBear 2
"you have to be very mindful of what you take on with you for reasons of getting it confiscated" no kidding. But since when would an eyelash curler pose any sort of threat that would result in it getting confiscated?? I can't speak for TSA because I don't live in the US, but in Australia, I have heard some stupid stories about things getting confiscated (or at least warned "don't bring it next time"). Scissors, knives, metal knitting needles, box cutters I can understand all those things being banned. I can even understand large amounts of liquids being banned. But an eyelash curler? Really? If such stupid things are going to be confiscated, then how should we know what is and isn't suitable to take as carry-on? Yes airport security is important. It doesn't mean they can go over the top and just make up their own rules.
Kelita 0
lmao!!!!
sulhaq 4
You deserve this. With all the shit that's gone down since 9/11 you were still stupid enough to think this was ok at an airport? Yes it is completely stupid and unnecessary and all it does is create an absolutely and utterly false sense of security. But it's there and we have to deal with it. Next time young through an airport keep your yapper closed and just let them do whatever they want. It's annoying but gets you through the airport.
Lintu_26 23
"Let them do whatever they want"??? Why don't you just lie down and let them walk all over you?? There's a line, and when someone feels a situation unjust they shouldn't just close their yapper... Anyway I think maybe OP was feeling nervous and the joke slipped out... and seriously OP that sucks...hope your next time with security is better :)