Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Today, I got looked at weirdly for brushing my teeth in an airport bathroom. FML
Today, I was walking through airport security when a guard began making lewd gestures at his crotch, while looking at me. I was outraged until I realized he was trying to tell me that my fly was down. FML
Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML
Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Today, I was picking up my 10 year-old step-son from the airport. He began screaming and crying saying that I wasn't his father. I ended up sitting in a holding room because the security guards thought I was kidnapping him. My wife thought it was hilarious. FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
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Top comments
Livinia 11
Maybe he had a feisty fight with an eyelash curler back in the day.
prettyinpunk1025 14
yeah don't joke around toward them or cops... they never think its funny
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Comments (136)
iSurf_fml 8
They take shit serious. My 12 year old sister was accused of terrorism after jokingly saying "I can't wait to see a bomb on the plane!". They really take shit seriously.
DearestPluto 0
-adds to favorites- I laughed
Fortitudine 3
Those people are ******* nazis
sxe_beast 11
Yes because the people trying to prevent people from flying planes into buildings are actually evil fascist racist mass murders.
Emrysa 1
True Facts, damn those pesky RAF pilots.
lindseyluvszac 4
Big mistake Now their going to take you out back and 'probe' all of your orifices
HarleyCycle 0
why do I feel like you knew that was a bad idea before you said it?
ThatFatGuyBehind 3
I know alot of cops that HAVE a sense of humor just not very many :(
McAninch35 9
Read what you just typed back to yourself a couple times. Please.
ryno101 3
blame bin laden and his al qaeda goons for airport security's lack of sense of humor
camartinez23 0
blame paranoid America?
bpell15 5
it might be a fine idea to think before you speak. just sayin.
HumanWiki 8
TSA employees are the lowest form of life.
xokmonxo 0
Don't eff with the TSA. End of story.