Today, after a few months of my neighbor's friend parking outside his house and honking until he came outside, I happened to be out doing lawn work. I politely screamed, "STOP HONKING YOUR F***ING HORN!" To which they responded by moving in front of MY house and holding down their horn. I hate people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up at 6:00 am to the sound of somebody laying on their horn outside my apartment. I ran outside to yell at them only to find out it was my car. The horn was shortcircuting. All my neighbors stood on their porch laughing as I repeatedly punched my steering wheel to make it stop. FML
Today, some new people moved into the house next door to mine. The previous occupants were very loud and obnoxious day in and day out, so I was looking forward to some sanity. When I went outside, I noticed they'd parked their cars on my lawn. FML
Today, we have an asshole neighbor who owns a loud muscle car. Another neighbor called the cops on him for constantly revving the engine and breaking the noise ordinance. He now purposefully drives by their house at odd hours of the night to blare his horn and wake everybody up. I live across the road from them. FML
Today, I regret asking my neighbor to turn down his music last night. When I left for work, I found his car parked so close to mine that I couldn't squeeze between them. His wife's was parked the same way on the other side. They wouldn't answer their door and I ended up being late to work. FML
Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML
Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML
Today, I've suffered 3 months of my neighbor blasting his music so loud, it shakes my apartment floor. None of my noise complaints are ever followed up, but the moment I give him a piece of my mind, he calls the cops, and they threaten me with jail time over a few curse words. FML
Today, the neighbors' kid got a new airhorn. FML
Today, my neighbor yelled “Fuck you!” at me through his window. My crime? Closing my front door “too loud.” This man lets his children beat on the walls and slam doors but apparently I’m the problem. FML
Today, I asked my neighbor to kindly move his truck because it blocks my driveway and the side entrance to my yard. He responded by throwing a decapitated bird onto my front lawn and filing an injunction against me for stalking. FML
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Top comments
WTSchool 0
You 'politely screamed'? I never knew people could scream... with manners.
DisappearingRose 18
haha, that sucks. I would've gotten mad too though
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Comments (280)
sleepygamer 0
Goddamn people here are stupid. It's written irony. It -is- impossible to politely scream "stop honking your ******* horn", and that is the point. It wasn't. The absurdity of the phrase is what makes it entertaining to read. On another note, my response would have been to go back into the house, and come out with a golf club or similar other bashing object, and walk towards the car hefting it like you are gonna bash some windscreen in.
rairai 14
agree 237, the comments here makes me lose faith in humanity
YourImaginaryFri 0
many ways... well not really but in my head it's veery polite
tykiej 0
That is when you calmly walk into your house and walk out cocking your shotgun.
markhansen1992 5
For all the people that didn't get the sarcasm in op's statement,you all need to get off the computer you've been stuck to these past few years and experience a social life not network because you obviously learnt the basic socialization skills.
sunkist324 3
I'd of been mad to but how the he'll is screaming polite? especially when you say the f word ydi. don't be so rude nxt time he'll prob ram into ur car instead
ItsJustMe17 9
hahahaha ,, politely screamedd(;
borntoperform 14
So, so polite.
birdfreak 24
how do you politely yell stop honking your f-ing horn? I don't think it's possible to "politely" curse
kaylapple 1
its your fault, because you yelled at them.