Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I had to play Paper, Rock or Scissors and beat my boyfriend in order to get him to take a shower. FML
Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML
Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML
Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Oppression_fml 19
We all gotta start somewhere...
A07 48
Cut him some slack OP, atleast he's trying, most guys don't even bother according to this site.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (154)
teentee401 37
Sounds hot tbh
Coffeehound 18
Better than pin the tail on the donkey
TisAPenguin 16
I can't believe you're complaining about this. You're clearly high-maintenance.
limabeans101029 21
Are you joking or...? I mean, it would've been way easier for her to just show him where it is but still, at least she found a way to turn it into a potentially sexy/fun game. (Sorry if your sarcasm went over my head).
iwadasn 33
Wanting to actually get enjoyment out of sex makes her high maintenance? Seriously?
glabberfasted 16
Yikes. And here we find a man who has never given a woman an ******.
kaitlynjane 28
If it was a fun game for her, she shouldn't be posting it on FML. That shows that she didn't enjoy it. May not be high maintenance, but high strung? Yeah.
AkaPanda 12
Talk to him open and honestly about it if u can't do that then you are too young to be doing it at all.
Incognico 22
That's not cool neither gives a warm feeling.. I suppose..
randomheartthrob 7
It's a start. Cut him some slack. Some dudes only care about themselves getting off
bigdog80 10
Poor man
krumi 13
couldn't you have just pointed it out?
DenBriZel 31
why not just point it out to him?
EarlFug 19
Go ahead and vote me down but if I help a few people it's worth it. I think the hot and cold game was a good idea. Sex should be fun and exploratory. This or other games could be applied other ways and that's a great thing. There's nothing better than partners who each have a willingness to both learn and teach. This reply chain has kinda taken on the feel of CLIT NOMNOM but nobody has mentioned that it matters what you do if and when you get there. Or that there are other erogenous zones and they vary greatly from woman to woman. Good sex cannot happen without exploring and sharing, and good for you OP and partner for doing so. Keep it up and you'll be rewarded.
kaitlynjane 28
Exactly. It's different for all women. Some like their clit to be stimulated directly, for others that's too much. And every woman is shaped differently, vaginal area included. No wonder guys feel extremely pressured when it comes to this activity, judging from the expectations from many commenters.