Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without feeling pain afterwards. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered I have a condition that causes loss of feeling in my clitoris during sex. FML
Today, since splitting up with my girlfriend, I’ve watched so much porn I think I’ve given myself a friction burn on my clit, so now not only does it hurt to even walk normally, it’s way too painful to masturbate, so I’m now horny all the frigging time. FML
Today, my muscles are sore in my arm. I told my boyfriend I think I slept on it wrong. Truth is, it's from masturbation. He won't have sex until we're married. FML
Today, after being apart for a few weeks, my girlfriend made love to me so hard I got bruises on my penis and it hurts to pee out of it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when I got a sudden agonising cramp in my foot. I cried out in pain, but he didn't stop. If anything, my cries of pain seemed to spur him on. FML
Today, after a 3-month dry spell because I am recovering after having a baby, I was finally in the mood to get intimate with my husband. Foreplay was great, the sex was great until my back gave out right as I was about to cum. I can't move without intense pain. I just wanted to orgasm! FML
Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and somehow managed to pull a back muscle. I’ve been naked for 3 hours, scared to move because it hurts so bad. FML
Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML
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Top comments
ahabsfan 17
This rubs me the wrong way. I’m cliterally hurt by this.
voltroz 18
Please be gentle?
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Comments (6)
voltroz 18
Please be gentle?
ahabsfan 17
This rubs me the wrong way. I’m cliterally hurt by this.
Crowned Sataness 12
you don't need to beat your clit like a rented mule
giraffe_poop 8
no shit 😆
tounces7 28
Tongues are usually softer than fingers, and you stated you have a boyfriend, so...why not consider alternatives to getting off other than your own hand?
OxfordPictionary 10
OP also stated they haven't been intimate in weeks, I imagine sleeping with their partner isn't an option which is why they haven't done that.
OxfordPictionary 10
Trim your finger nails and use lube
IHaveThePower 18
You just need more lube. Check an adult store--they've got some good brands. (Or a pharmacy, if you're not into higher-end stuff, but adult stores have a bunch of stuff you can laugh at...)