What
United States
Mixed feelings
Today, I somehow have both crippling depression and a fear of death. Please end me, but don't. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Appearance matters
Today, I tried thinking of the best way to kill myself without leaving my body intact enough for people to continue to judge. FML
Big sad
Steele, United States
The big waiting room
Today, my depression has reached the point where I'm not sure if I'm even living anymore. Sure, I'm very much alive and able to type this, but I feel as though I'm just existing. Taking up space. Doing nothing. I can't be alone here, right? FML
Anonymous
Pensacola, United States
Ignore the void
Today, I've finally got my mental health under control after decades of flailing. I also started showing signs of Serotonin Syndrome, which is caused by my meds and could result in seizure and death. So my choices are the swirling void of depression or possibly just the void. FML
Anonymous
Better happy and fat
Today, I've zero motivation to even live life. I've stopped doing even the little things I like. My husband tries hard to cheer me up and keep things going, but I just want to curl into a ball and die. I'm too scared to take depression medication as it makes me fat. FML
Anonymous
Not helping
Today, I was talking to my professor and explained how depressed and stressed out I am. He called the police to my house because he thought that would help with my suicidal thoughts. My parents don't believe in mental health, and I want to die more. FML
Anonymous
Healthcare for all
Today, I’m massively depressed and I live in a state that will prosecute you for attempted suicide, but will do nothing to help you afford mental health. FML
Anonymous
Saskatoon, Canada
Intrusive thoughts
Today, I’m trying to avoid yet another psych ward admission, but my anxiety is so bad that I’m constantly on the verge of a panic attack, and my depression is to the point where I’m tempted to stab myself in the neck with every sharp object I see. FML
Anonymous
Jesteburg, Germany
Down and out
Today, I diagnosed myself with a debilitating case of vicious circle: I am now too depressed to do the things that usually manage to pull me out of my depression. FML
Anonymous
Regina, Canada
Classic been there, done that
Today, in a state of severe depression and fearing I might do the worst, I called my local suicide helpline. I was put on hold. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Ashes to ashes
Today, if anyone wants to know how my day’s going, I have a preteen who recently discovered the idea of death, which led to life after death, which led to "What if there is no life after death?", just non-existence, no self awareness, just oblivion. Preteen plus existential dread. God help me. FML
Top comments
Brightside86 31
I had a friend who was dealing with that. He saw a psychiatrist tried some meds to just give him a little willpower to tackle the things keeping him depressed. Changed his life and then got off the meds.
Rake 18
It's not that rare. Depression causes death to become a subject that you keep thinking about. This triggers the natural fear of death. A lot of time depression is not the will to die, it's the will that the suffering will stop, along with a lack of energy to think about other ways of changing things. Treatment and medication reduce the suffering and help you get back on your feet.
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Comments (5)
xllabraxasllx 19
Same
Brightside86 31
I had a friend who was dealing with that. He saw a psychiatrist tried some meds to just give him a little willpower to tackle the things keeping him depressed. Changed his life and then got off the meds.
Rake 18
It's not that rare. Depression causes death to become a subject that you keep thinking about. This triggers the natural fear of death. A lot of time depression is not the will to die, it's the will that the suffering will stop, along with a lack of energy to think about other ways of changing things. Treatment and medication reduce the suffering and help you get back on your feet.
ODBeefalo 10
I get really bad bouts of depression, and I have my whole life, especially in winter months. my recommendation would be to talk to a doctor, maybe a psychologist, and if possible, see if you can find a strain of cannabis that helps before turning to meds. IMO, when possible, weed is a better choice than pills and often cheaper. but again, look for professional insight before trusting some guy on the internet.
TheMermaid0522 11
I go through the exact same thing. It’s crippling. I go to therapy and on meds. I am able to work now and leave the house. Please seek out help if you haven’t already.