Mr Beard

Back to reality

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. Fifteen minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

Can't face it

Today, thanks to all my medications, I've been growing thick, dark hair on my face. I decided to use hair removal cream instead of shaving. The cream removed every trace of hair, but also made my skin about 4 times lighter than the rest of my face. It's even more noticeable than the beard. FML

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

Today, I shaved off half of my right eyebrow by accident. It still looks better than my left eyebrow. FML

Today, out of boredom, I decided to clean shave my beard and moustache for the first time in 3 years. My new nickname at work is The Crimson Chin. FML

Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML

Shaved

Today, fed up with my nerdy appearance, I got my hair shaved off, hoping for a Walter White kind of look. I didn't think it was too bad, but not even an hour later, I'd already been called a "fat Bruce Willis" and compared to a freshly circumcised penis. FML

Today, I finally got an unsightly mole on my face removed. While I was shaving. FML

Today, I tried to bleach my upper lip hair. I now have a bright red mustache. FML

New look, huh?

Today, I tried a new beard trimmer that has a laser guide. I somehow set it too close to my skin and shaved a completely bald line straight through the middle of my beard. Now I look like a magician with a flesh mustache divider, or a bassist from a 90s nu-metal band. FML