Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend loves giving blowjobs; the problem is she is very bad at them, refuses to admit she is bad at them, and cries and stops talking to me every time I try and tell her how to do it better. My knob is red and sore where she keeps catching it with her teeth. FML
Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML
Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML
Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making love, and she started to moan and groan. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "I'm lying, you suck at this." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
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Top comments
bobbybill0519 7
One does not simply refuse a *******
melij99 5
You may be the first man in history to be called a jerk for refusing a BJ. Congratulations!
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Comments (83)
illuminati4real 6
Been there bro, I ain't afraid to admit it.
thew_fml 14
just be honest with her, and explain. no need to complicate things, when it is just that simple (and then stop turning down BJs)
Ugi 27
Sounds like you are fairly new to this and that you are both going a bit too fast. No shame in that, but maybe talk to her about it and spend a bit more time together and get a bit more comfortable before you go too far.
ElricMustang 23
To be honest, I would be the same way. I always put her before me, and I feel bad if she does something for me first, because I'm scared we won't have enough time for her. Maybe OP and I don't have the same intentions, but that's ho I feel.
RedPillSucks 33
I agree with your sentiment in general, as I've done the same thing, but I'm curious about "wont have time for her". How long do you think a ******** will last? Do you have that much stamina that her jaws will start hurting before you cum?
ElricMustang 23
No, it's not that. Just that if something were to happen after I was done, like we had to do something else suddenly, I would feel guilty, as if I have to owe them. I mean, she offers to, and she likes to do it to me, but I still feel like I want to for her first just in case.
WritingWrongs 8
I have not and will never enjoy a bj... Call me crazy, but it's so uncomfortable and awkward. I also agree with 51's stance.
Manicpandalove 4
I Understand How She Feels She Wanted To Pleasure Him And He Made It Seem Like She Wasn't Doing A Good Job. She's Probably Thinking "I Was So Bad That He Turned Down My Bj" (Know How She Feels From Experience)
robert76 5
I understand how your shift key feels. Poor guy.
doodlecloud 27
I didn't even attempt to read this. Isn't it extra effort to type all those unnecessary capitals?
thestoryofmylyf 20
Ur soooo adorable
tonygar 17
Never turn down a BJ, but go down on her every chance you can. 69 her!
ElhonnaDS 10
My boyfriend isn't a big fan of BJ's. I have no problem doing it, and he's enjoyed them when they happened, but he says mentally he feels like it's demeaning, and that is kind of a turn off, so he'd rather go straight from taking care of me to sex. So no, you are not the only man in history to turn down a BJ.
billyw02 5
All I see is "Today, my girlfriend offered to blow me. FML."