Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I playfully nudged my friend on the shoulder. She countered by shoving me head-first into a trash can. FML
Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my friends when I tripped and a chair rolled over my foot, breaking a bone. A friend, who didn't believe me, then dogpiled on top of me and laughed as I screamed. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, while playing golf on a local course, my idiot of a friend decided to push his pushcart down a massive hill towards me. When he realized that I was going to be hit, he screamed for me to move, but it was too late. I collapsed to the ground in pain, all while he chuckled about the situation. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
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Top comments
oj101 33
Are you certain that wasn't a freudian slip?
junkman6 22
I guess you're into that rough stuff huh?
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Comments (68)
shirleyfries 3
Should've recovered with "I will f*ck you UP"
jillian2296 11
lol This made my day!
LilStarcon 2
Quick note: "I will f*ck you up!" sounds a lot more threatening.
Shadow_Myst 5
I hate it when words dont come out right in situations like this.
happyfingers 15
Ahhh, I hate when that happens. For some reason in my family we have a tendency to mix up our words often or phrase things poorly enough that it sounds ridiculously dirty and then you get to sit there in a few seconds of stunned silence while everyone slowly realizes what you just said... And then starts cracking up. So I get that a lot.
Gardevoir_fml 12
Yessssssss
Cirrus13 4
Was that a threat or a promise?
trickmick12 11
I will **** you..... UP!
Raykyogrou03 12
cens*ring l*ke th*s *s j*st ******* p*intless
someguy314159265 15
I love how you don't censor "*******". Also, ****** **** shit piss ************ chink ****.
JakeHRogers 7
You should **** him to save face