Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I playfully nudged my friend on the shoulder. She countered by shoving me head-first into a trash can. FML
Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my friends when I tripped and a chair rolled over my foot, breaking a bone. A friend, who didn't believe me, then dogpiled on top of me and laughed as I screamed. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, while playing golf on a local course, my idiot of a friend decided to push his pushcart down a massive hill towards me. When he realized that I was going to be hit, he screamed for me to move, but it was too late. I collapsed to the ground in pain, all while he chuckled about the situation. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
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Top comments
oj101 33
Are you certain that wasn't a freudian slip?
junkman6 22
I guess you're into that rough stuff huh?
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Comments (68)
Norris_FTW_77 9
I remember the good ol' days when you just pulled a girls pig tails and made fun of them when you were too immature to say you were into them. Of course, that didn't end with the girl saying 'Im will **** you' til college. When hair pulling wasn't just foreplay anymore. ;)
takeitandrun 13
All you had to do was add "up" to then end of that and you'd be golden. But FYL who just shoves people so hard they faceplant?
RedX1000FML 11
That's why it's bad to quickly say two phrases.
NessaMae 19
Sadly this has happened to me as well lol. The accidentally saying "I will **** you" part, not the faceplanting part.
SarahKay67 10
I did that same thing except I meant to say "**** you" or "can I kill you" so it came out as "can I **** you?" It just so happened to be my best friend's boyfriend... Oh well he and I are friends
mFUNdo21 17
why would you even ask someone for permission to kill them?
vipirius 18
48 overly polite serial killer?
KingreX32 21
now that's a memento I can follow.
IAmMe204 25
Well that means you'll have some fun soon... ;)
Pixiemels 19
That is a very common thing to say in Greece :P
griffy14 9
He'll find it funny until you show up with a strap-on.
mFUNdo21 17
she wants the D
Beepbeep7 14
The amount of people repeating each other on this fml is ridiculous.