Today, a friend thought it would be funny to shove me over; I face-planted. I was going to say "Fuck you" and "I will kill you." It came out as "I will fuck you." He's still laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to give my friend a fist bump. He thought I was trying to punch him so he punched me in the face. FML
Today, I playfully nudged my friend on the shoulder. She countered by shoving me head-first into a trash can. FML
Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my friends when I tripped and a chair rolled over my foot, breaking a bone. A friend, who didn't believe me, then dogpiled on top of me and laughed as I screamed. FML
Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML
Today, while playing golf on a local course, my idiot of a friend decided to push his pushcart down a massive hill towards me. When he realized that I was going to be hit, he screamed for me to move, but it was too late. I collapsed to the ground in pain, all while he chuckled about the situation. FML
Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML
Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class, I did the same thing to him. He broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team. Nobody laughed. FML
Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
oj101 33
Are you certain that wasn't a freudian slip?
junkman6 22
I guess you're into that rough stuff huh?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (68)
romeonsingcross 15
Me too.
hcollins1 18
You will **** him too?
Ksweety_fml 27
Wow, you're mind is naughty. Hahaaa..
ThatFancyPenn 18
What a fail at good grammar. God I hate this planet.
sarcasticlover 30
one of the few incidences when your is misspelled as you're
Ksweety_fml 27
GRAMMAR NAZI ALERT!... LMAO...
Ksweety_fml 27
GRAMMAR NAZI ALERT.!!! LMAO....
BBWwonder 10
Don't forget the lube.... Lots and lots of lube
Vaimvaelk 11
You should've said "up" immediately after to save yourself
Nolimit2217 32
Face down, ass up.. That's the way I like the ****!
Cartera 10
Call me.
SmokinGuns 13
To *****
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
that song is catchy.. lol
Wakachulak 22
You should of turned it into "I will **** you up"
KushCrushin89 10
should have*
Wakachulak 22
Shut up, college boy
cacheson 42
I'd prefer "I will **** you up"
nic5x 24
Haha, that's hilarious.
creepyclowntown 10
that's when you end the sentence "up"
hikari669 15
You should of saved it with " i will **** you UP"
DocBastard 40
It's fascinating that you and #22 both said the same thing and both said "should of". Look at those two words together. LOOK AT THEM. Does "should of" make any ******* sense?
vipirius 18
Grammar mistakes aside people could at least try to be a little more creative.
kinky44 28
Should've sounds like "should of" but some people can't take the two seconds to remember should've= should have
jrock9093 18
Friends can be stupid