Today, when done feeding my newborn, I stated to my husband that I'm a cow. He said, in a sincere tone, "Oh, baby, you'll lose the weight soon." I meant cow because I'm producing so much milk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Today, a customer greeted me with, "So! When's the baby coming!?" I'm NOT pregnant. I just gain weight in my guts. FML
Today, I was taking my 3 month-old nephew for a walk in his stroller, when a lady stopped me to coo over him. Then she patted my stomach and said, "Don't worry, you'll lose the baby weight soon." I've never had a baby. FML
Today, I was teaching my one year-old some new words. He pointed to the picture of a pig and said, "Mama". Guess I better start that diet. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, in the middle of the store, my daughter pointed at my belly and loudly announced that she was going to have a brother. I'm a man, and apparently I need to lose weight. FML
Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML
Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
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Top comments
strawberry_78 0
Ah, I could understand his mistake, double meaning! You said it!!!
umlautasaur 0
I don't see how this is an FML. You have baby weight. Your husband isn't making a huge deal of it. BTW, "cow" is usually synonymous with being overweight. All mammals breastfeed.
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Comments (152)
starvingxartist 0
um. let's see you just had a baby and umm you have to gain weight in order to have a healthy baby. whenever anyone says "i'm a cow," it's taken to mean "i'm fat," and well geez, what're you supposed to say when someone says "i'm fat" to you?
AmyLynn0721 0
don't feel bad about it. almost everyone gains weight after having a baby. & just because he said that, doesn't mean he thinks your fat. he could easily have thought you were the one thinking you're fat, and was trying to be a good husband and reassure you, instead of just saying you're not fat, thinking you would just deny it.
invisibledamage 2
#71 I loved your comment
kizmet 0
that doesn't mean he thought you were fat, it means he thought you thought you were fat and he didn't want to argue.
Trix_Disorder 20
You totally deserved that. :P
jnic 0
You just had a baby, what do you expect? You probably DID gain considerable weight, it's completely natural and doesn't mean you're gross or eat like a pig. Also, he's being supportive... yeah, **** your life, totally.
SaruhMai 0
You do know that a heifer is a cow that doesn't give birth and is only for milking or it's a young female cow right? So your username is incorrect. And about the FML. Uhm. When people refer to themselves as cows. It almost 100% means you're talking about your weight.
guitardedman 0
YDI idiot. he was trying to comfort you when your hefty ass made the mistake of comparing yourself to a large farmyard animal. idiot.
schadenfreudeFTW 0
YDI for having children :) Okay, that's mean. YDI for having children and not being able to deal with the consequences :)
TheCheez 0
YDI for not thinking about what you said. Would most ordinary people make that connection the way you intended it? I think not.