Today, I went to the store to get groceries. After getting all the stuff I need, and was heading towards the checkout point, I heard a baby cry and instantly felt coldness on my shirt. Yes I was lactating, and yes it was noticeable. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Check this out!
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Sibling rivalry
Today, I was at Costco, with my six year-old and my baby. I turned my back on them to grab something off a shelf and heard the baby scream. I turned around and saw my son dumping a gallon jug of mayonnaise all over my baby in his stroller. FML
Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML
Damp patch
Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I'd caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML
External validation
Today, I was grocery shopping, feeling good about myself, until when I was waiting in line at the checkout, a small kid in his mother's arms in front turned to look straight at me and said, "Ewwwww." FML
Not now, dude!
Today, I was working at the checkout. Trying to be hygienic, I suppressed a sneeze. I continued to serve the next person. As I was giving her her change, she looked at me with a horrified expression. I looked down and my shirt was covered in a trail of snot all the way to my belt. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Amplified
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Top comments
lex1459 38
At least you can cross milk off of your grocery list.
xMaeLA 24
Aw, sorry, op! It's embarrassing but perfectly natural for new moms to lactate during that time period! How old is your baby? :)
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Comments (62)
xMaeLA 24
Aw, sorry, op! It's embarrassing but perfectly natural for new moms to lactate during that time period! How old is your baby? :)
BananEnigma 24
Why are you being downvoted? This is the truth.
withered 30
#9 How dare you imply that a woman's body part I find sexual is used for something natural like feeding babies and that lactating is perfectly normal?! But in all seriousness, I think people who have complexes/frustrations and ****** up views about woman's body have problems with breastfeeding and lactating (as in idiots who stare at breasts yet complain about breastfeeding, saying how 'gross' it is). So naturally, the number of downvotes will grow.
BobbieH 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It has nothing to do with the implications of how a woman's body works. OP never mentioned being a mom at all, let alone a new mom. It's possible she has hyperprolactinemia syndrome. Not uncommon and it is caused by a pituitary gland malfunction. That can be caused by a host of reasons. That's why I down voted. It wasn't OP's baby crying and OP never mentioned kids of her own at all.
gamerlaura 13
She is 3 months, 14 weeks hehe
Calingaladha 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well, breasts are dual-purpose...lactation and sexual objects. Both are normal and natural, although one is okay in public and the other isn't...
Calingaladha 21
To clarify what I'm trying to say...if you look at any other mammal, they have developed breasts only when gestating and lactating, because that's the only use they get out of them. Humans are different, because over time breasts have become an object of attraction as well, thus why we have breasts even when we don't have infants to feed. It's still natural...but feeding a baby in public is okay. Getting off on your partner's breasts in public? Not so much.
iSsjGohan 18
@#1 Did you just assume she had a baby
PhantomKitty 26
@33 No. The OP said she had a baby.
zman938 8
You do realize that the chances of her being a mom are much higher than what you said right? Also, you were wrong, OP is a new mom.
Natttie 15
I have three kids and I just recently had my third one. She's 6 weeks. (: Anyway, every time I hear a baby cry or I hold a hungry baby, my breasts lactate. It's perfectly normal. I think breastfeeding is beautiful and natural. ❤ Don't worry, OP. My breasts lactate like few hours ago, right in the middle of target cause I heard a baby cry, too.
xMaeLA 24
Lol, y'know... Some people these days.. Yes, I assumed op had a baby recently because I've been around the medical field my entire life, my mom is a nurse, and all of my friend have babies. It happened to them during that time period, too. It's just the connection a mother has to her child that science cannot explain. So yeah, when a new mom hears a baby cry, her body will react to taking care of that baby. And if she's a breast feeding, even more so. If you don't like what I have to say.. Well, I think we all know what you read on this website is completely voluntary. Don't like it, don't read it.
xMaeLA 24
Must be a gorgeous baby! I'm happy for you. :)
Justagirl97 9
Breast are not dual-purposed. There sole purpose is too feed their child. It wasn't til later people sexualized breast and now people think breast is for sex too.
Spaceprincenova 1
That's not at all how evolution works. We don't have breasts because they're a "sexual object." They're not. Their sole purpose is to feed children.
lex1459 38
At least you can cross milk off of your grocery list.
LPac5295 27
This comment, while slightly gross, is very funny. Good one.
SKG95 20
lol
PaulieXP 16
Op doesn't have a baby. That's the whole point, she lactated at the mere sound of crying child
lex1459 38
That's what happens to newer moms!
Seabass_Chan 33
Unless she has a medical condition that causes lactating, coincidentally whenever she hears a baby cry, OP is a new mother. The FML is that it wasn't even her own baby that caused her to...um, leak.
BananEnigma 24
Sorry, #3, but that's not how teh boobie milk works. Also, if it was a medical condition that causes lactation minus a child, her breasts wouldn't start leaking at the sound of a crying child. That is a completely hormone-based reaction when that happens to new moms.
Limeila 10
It happened to a friend of my parents even several years after giving birth, everytime she heard a baby cry. It was really annoying for her.
BobbieH 19
#8 That can be how the "boobie milk" works. It's a hormone imbalance that causes new moms to lactate and that imbalance can occur in women who have never had kids. The imbalance would also allow it to be possible that when she hears a child cry she would lactate. It's a combined hormonal response. Both things come from the same set of hormones. Estrogen, Progesterone, Prolactin and Oxytocin in elevated levels in women without children is called hyperprolactinemia Syndrome and is caused by a problem in the pituitary gland. It's not that uncommon, ranges is severity and sensitivity to external stimuli.
JETarchitect 32
OP replied to #1 and confirmed that she does have a 3 month old baby
Arkham_Callabero 15
I'm sorry, do you know OP personally? If not you can't assume things like that
BananEnigma 24
#15... No, rly? When it's a medical condition though, a crying baby does not garner the same response. It's more likely to leak randomly rather than leak on command of babies when it has to do with something other than the post-baby hormone influx.
coolmike699 26
Would you say that you were milkshaken by this experience?
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
It was a dreadful en-cow-nter.
BananEnigma 24
Ah, the post-baby struggle. I remember it well.
snoopy325 23
Nursing pads, OP. The thick ones. And congratulations! How old is your baby?
gamerlaura 13
She is 3 months old
cutiepie292929 18
You can buy one time use nursing pads or reusable ones from asos.com :)
rykelmb 12
Lansinoh also has some good one use ones. They stick to the inside of your bra so you don't have to worry about them slipping. They worked great for me.
BananEnigma 24
I found nursing pads to be useful, yet extremely gross (imo). I had so much milk that I would change them every couple hours and they'd already be overflowing and disgusting smelling lol. I showered twice a day and sponge-bathed when I was breastfeeding, worried about mould or some kind of yeast infection. So, just be aware of how much milk you're producing when using them. ;)
Zilten 10
I'm sure Ive seen this FML before
Jjay08 7
Didn't know boobs where sound activated.
murph_fml 21
It's true, it's a weird hardwired physiological response.
Sia_Will 13
In that case it's better to wear special nipple pads. Saves you from all of the embarrassment, you know?
fariss 14
Wow, pavlov's mom.